218. Alexithymia

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Hello darling heart and welcome to this episode of the Drink Less, Live Better podcast.

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This is the podcast that helps you to see that drinking less doesn't need to be stressful, lonely, or boring.

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I'm your host, Sarah Williamson, and I decided to have a year alcohol free as a little life experiment and haven't looked back.

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I'm here to support you with your alcohol free or drink less adventures.

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Follow me on Instagram at drink less live better and find resources on my website drinklesslivebetter.com.

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I hope you enjoy this podcast episode. Let's get straight to it. Alexithymia.

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It's a big word, and I'm gonna say it several times in this podcast. Bear with me. How are you feeling today? I'm tip top.

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I'm feeling fine, okay, and pretty level. How are you feeling? Do you know? Can you name it?

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Do you have to stop and think about it?

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I'm going to take a breath while you think of your answer and say it out loud.

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Okay, I hope you got an answer, a feeling to share, or did your mind go blank?

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Have you ever been accused of being cold or detached when inside you're actually experiencing something but you just can't quite name it.

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Today I'm talking about alexithymia, a condition I've come to recognize in my own life and one that might ring a bell for you too.

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Alexithymia comes from Greek, meaning no words for emotions.

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It's classed as a personality trait and it affects approximately ten percent of the general population.

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Those with alexithymia may have difficulty identifying and describing their own emotions.

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They might struggle to distinguish between different feelings or between different emotional and physical sensations.

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Most people have an emotional vocabulary that allows them to recognize and label what they're feeling.

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I'm anxious about this presentation, or I'm feeling disappointed about that missed opportunity.

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But to someone with alexithymia, those emotional states can feel like vague, confusing internal experiences without clear labels.

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Perhaps we'd say, 'I feel a bit meh' or 'I don't really know how I feel'.

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I used to think I was just rational or level headed.

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When friends would describe emotional reactions to situations, I'd nod along but privately wonder why I didn't seem to feel things with the same intensity.

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I had an experience with an oncologist consultant a couple of years ago.

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He delivered a less than ideal piece of news to me and then asked me why I wasn't responding and wanted me to articulate what I was thinking and feeling.

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He said, Sarah, most people cry at this news. Wow. I mean, really?

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What I'd like you to know, dear listener, is I removed myself from his patient list pretty darn quickly and found myself a

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really nice consultant who I got on very well with and was able to talk to freely and easily.

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You might recognize a lix thymus in yourself if you find it difficult to identify specific emotions beyond vague feelings.

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Focus perhaps you focus more on physical sensations, like a racing heart or a tight chest, than emotional states.

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Perhaps you prefer discussing facts and external events rather than internal feelings?

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Maybe you get overwhelmed or shut down during emotional conversations?

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Has someone told you you seem detached or unempathetic?

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Maybe you feel confused when others have strong emotional reactions, and perhaps you tend to analyze situations logically rather than emotionally.

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This is what I now know for sure.

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Taking time to understand myself has been super important.

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Without clear access to our emotional landscape, it can be harder to make decisions that really align with our needs and our wants. Here

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Here are some ideas to try. Emotional vocabulary work: check out the feelings wheel and practice naming potential feelings throughout the day.

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If you want a copy of the feelings wheel, drop me a dm or an email sarah@drinklesslivebetter.com. I'll send one over to you. Body scanning.

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Take time to notice physical sensations and then connect them to possible emotions if you can. Journaling.

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Writing helps you process experiences that might otherwise remain emotionally unclear. Clear communication.

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Be upfront with close friends and family about your challenges with emotional recognition.

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Elixir thimer in yourself, please know that you're not alone and you're not broken.

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For those who love someone with alexithymia, patience and explicit communication make all the difference.

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Say what you mean and mean what you say.

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Ask specific questions rather than open ended ones about feelings.

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Understand that emotional processing might take longer and happen differently for everyone, and that is okay. Thank you for listening in today. Come back again next week.

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Check out the show notes for a link to a hidden podcast episode that will help you with your 5PM cravings and details about

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my one to one life coaching and sober coaching programs, And, PS, I believe in you.