50. Are you happy?

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Hello, darling heart, and welcome to the Drink Less, Live Better podcast. This is the podcast that helps you to see that drinking

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less doesn't need to be stressful, lonely, or boring. I'm your host, Sarah Williamson, and I decided to have a year alcohol

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free as a little life experiment and haven't looked back. With my experience and training, I now help other women with their

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alcohol free or drink less adventures. You can find out more about me and sign up to my 5 day drink less challenge at drink

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less, live better.com. I'm here to tell you that you can relax, connect, and have fun without alcohol in your life. Join me

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here each week to find out how. Today's question is, are you happy? Well, what a question it is, and are you? Does a simple

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answer spring to mind? Yes, I am happy, or no, I'm not happy. A friend posted a meme on Facebook the other day. It was a quote

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attributed to Heath Ledger. Everyone you meet asks about your career, whether you're married, have kids, etc, as if your life

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has some kind of grocery list, but no one ever asks if you're happy. So, in this post my friend asked the question, are you

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happy? He got lots of answers, some predictable, some not so much. My answer was, I'm happy right now, but I spend a lot of

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time feeling content, okay, fine, and sometimes a bit sad. I remembered to ask him if he was happy. So happy. It is just one

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feeling, just one, one of many, many different feelings that we as humans get to experience. Don't get me wrong, I think it's

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a lovely feeling and I choose it over a whole host of negative emotions any day of the week, but sometimes it feels like a

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pretty high bar to reach. Content, okay and fine are probably the feelings that I feel most of the time. I consider happy

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to be a quite elevated feeling, and content happens to be one of my most favourite feelings. I love the cosiness of it, the

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simplicity, its unsurprising nature. Content feels like there is nothing wrong, no emergency, no immediate danger or threat

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to life, but a feeling in which I can flow into a task, relax into a rest or look around, and know that most things are pretty

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okay or okay ish. There's another good word, okay. Okay isn't given enough kudos, I don't think. Okay is such a good way to

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be. I'm reminded of the old agricultural term, fair to middling, middling to fair, when I describe something as okay. It's

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average. Neither one thing nor the other. It's acceptable. It's passable. It's so so. All of which I like. How do you answer

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the question, how are you? I spent years saying, I'm good, thanks, because, you know, that's what all the kids were saying.

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But I've gone back to my roots, and the chances are, if you ask me how I am now, I'm much more likely to tell you I'm fine,

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thank you. I downgraded from good to fine a couple of years ago. I'd had a particularly shocking and traumatic series of series

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of events in my life, and saying good was no longer an answer anyone believed. Fine was an answer we could both pretend was

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real, even if it wasn't. To be feeling fine rates highly on my feel o meter. Fine, okay, content, I like them all, and they

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seem so much less pressurized than happy. I love all the emotions I associate with feeling happy. Optimism, excitement, hopefulness,

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and joy. Joy, that's my favorite. I love those total moments of bliss when you almost feel your heart squeeze for a moment,

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when you take a deep breath and cannot believe this love filled moment is real. I accept that those moments are fleeting.

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They're supposed to be. They are part of the ebb and flow of life. So, yes, I'm happy sometimes, but I'm also delighted to

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experience all the other emotions that are available to me. I won't label the emotions themselves as good or bad because they

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are just what they are: indicators, signposts, opportunities to stop, observe and learn from, lean into or adjust. My feelings

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and emotions affect my behaviours, and I absolutely know my behaviours, both towards myself and others, really matter to me

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and what I value. Are you happy? I ask you again, what behaviors are being driven by your current thoughts, and therefore,

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emotions or feelings? What needs to be changed in your life to help you experience more of the feelings that you want? If

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you need any help with that shizzle, you know where to find me. Thank you for listening today, and PS, I believe in you.