126. Be un-busy!
Being un-busy - it's my new thing. Want to join me?
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BTW - If you didn't already know, I'm Sarah - Drink Less; Live Better founder, best-selling author, expert speaker, life coach and, as you already know, podcast host!
We don't have to hit rock bottom, we're allowed to want something different and we can CHOOSE to improve our lives from this point onwards.
I work in the magic space where doubt, hope and action meet... oh.... and
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Transcript
Hello, darling heart, and welcome to the drink less, live better podcast.
-:This is the podcast that helps you to see that drinking less doesn't need to be stressful, lonely, or boring.
-:I'm your host, Sarah Williamson, and I decided to have a year alcohol free as a little life experiment and haven't looked back.
-:With my experience and training, I now help other people with their alcohol free or drink less adventures.
-:You can find out more and sign up to my 5 day drink less challenge at drink less live better dot com.
-:I'm here to tell you that you can relax, connect, and have fun without alcohol in your life.
-:Join me here each week to find out how. How was your summer? Was it good? Was it restful? Was it fun? Was it all the just rightness? Was it busy? Was it too busy?
-:I've been thinking a lot about busy recently.
-:I read 2 brilliant books, The Art of Rest by Claudia Hammond and Rest is Resistance by Tricia Hersey, both of which I highly recommend to you.
-:On holiday in August, I was sitting in bed drinking my 4th or 5th cup of tea at about 11 AM, switching between staring out
-:of the window at the glorious mountain view and reading The Art of Rest When mister w delivered my 5th or 6th cup of tea to
-:the bedside table, he looked at the book I was reading and said, yep. Nailed it.
-:And as with so many other things, he was right.
-:In that moment I absolutely had nailed it. I was going nowhere.
-:I was as unbusy as it is possible to be.
-:I was physically rested and emotionally restored. Bliss.
-:I wonder why we give such significance to being busy.
-:We're often living our lives at a squillion miles an hour, filling our diaries to bursting and setting ridiculous expectations
-:as to what we can fit into our time.
-:We are here for one precious life.
-:Do we really want to spend it at the speed of light?
-:Do we want to teach our kids that this is how we are productive and or valuable as humans? I think not.
-:When did we start celebrating busy as a badge of honour and why?
-:I used to always be busy and would laughingly say, oh yeah, if you want something doing ask a busy person. This is toxic.
-:Here are my seven signs that show me when I might be too busy. Number 1, multitasking. Yep.
-:Someone or lots of someone's over time led me to believe it's a good thing. In general, it is not.
-:Good multi multitasking might be listening to a life affirming podcast whilst driving.
-:Not so good multitasking is eating lunch, watching a training video, and answering emails at the same time.
-:Just imagine the eye roll emoji right here.
-:Your ability to be present, learn, or focus is much reduced with this kind of multitasking.
-:Number 2, scheduling things weeks or months in advance.
-:When you and your friends are trying to plan a time to get together, does it feel like you have to do a calculus equation
-:to get your schedules to line up?
-:I was with a group of friends last week, and we talked about our Christmas get together.
-:One friend offered up the 3rd of December as that was her only date she had free between 13th November and Christmas. Imagine the screaming face emoji here.
-:No judgement about what her diary looks like. That's her business.
-:However, I'm telling you right now, if my end of year was looking that busy right now, I'd be reconsidering engagements quicker than Santa sliding down my chimney.
-:Contrived though it sounds, I like to schedule free time or white space as some people call it.
-:Every year I go through the month of December in my paper diary.
-:Yes, I am old school, and I put a cross through all the Sundays.
-:This is so my family and I can decide, on a Sunday morning, we fancy going out for brunch together, or we can go for a random
-:cinema trip, or wear our pyjamas for the day if we feel like it.
-:The time and space feels expensive and freeing to me.
-:I don't squeeze commitments in every hour of the day and every night of the week through December.
-:Scheduling free time allows me to rest.
-:Surely, part of winter should be about hard hibernation.
-:Number 3, perhaps you've had a hard time focusing and enjoying the moment.
-:It's amazing how much time we spend on our devices catching up on other people's lives, being hooked by the news, or scrolling numbly through our social apps.
-:I'm pointing my finger at myself here. Stop that. Stop that Sarah. Look around you right now. Number 4. Do you take time off?
-:If you never take breaks, usually work through lunch, or don't remember the last time you had a day to do nothing, you might just be too busy.
-:It's time to stop running on overdrive and start enjoying some rest.
-:After all, the world isn't going to fall apart if you take a nap or if you don't cross all 3,000 things on your to do list of today. It's just not.
-:If you never prioritize rest, it probably is time to.
-:I pretty much took the whole month of August away from work this year.
-:I saw a handful of 1 to 1 coaching clients in the 3rd 4th, week of the month, but that was about it.
-:I did not keep up with my marketing activities.
-:I did not reply to non urgent emails.
-:I turned off my booking calendar, and I chilled out. It was glorious.
-:I still made money in my business, and those that needed my support got it.
-:Just so we are clear, that was a handful of my clients, my family, and me.
-:This week, I've read a book in the mornings before I've got started on my work, and I've loved every second of it.
-:It just turns out that taking time off is not a negative.
-:Number 5, you feel guilty a lot of the time.
-:One of the side effects of being too busy and overwhelmed is guilt.
-:When you aren't clear on what actually matters, it's easy to feel bad about how you spend your time.
-:Perhaps to try to stop being everything to everyone, perhaps allow yourself the time and space you deserve, because I'm telling you, you do deserve it. Number 6.
-:Maybe you're filling your calendar with things you don't even want to do. I see you. That used to be me too.
-:We've all said yes to so many things we didn't want to do, agreed to bake cakes for the school fair, agreed to host the Halloween
-:party, agreed to go for the cocktail night with a bunch of girls you're not altogether keen on, agreed to go to auntie Mary's
-:for afternoon tea, agreed to have that report in sooner than you were originally asked, agreed to buy raffle tickets for calls
-:you don't particularly support, and more, so much more besides.
-:There are a lot of reasons we say yes to this kind of thing. Sometimes, we're afraid of looking unhelpful.
-:Sometimes, we feel like we need to be superwoman and carry the world on our shoulders.
-:But here's what you've got to know.
-:You control what goes on your calendar.
-:Almost always, you get to decide how you spend your time.
-:So if you want to change your level of busyness, it starts by taking responsibility for those choices.
-:Pull out your diary, if you're old school like me, and pull up your calendar online, if you're all fancy pants and modern,
-:and take a cold hard look at every single thing you've got on next week. Now answer this question honestly.
-:Is it how how you want to spend your time?
-:If the event you put in your diary months ago, you are now dreading, just cancel it. That's all. Cancel. In fact, it's not all. Cancel it and then rest. Be unbusy.
-:And finally, number 7, are you tired?
-:When we're too busy, rest is one of the first things to go. Rest isn't optional though. We desperately need rest.
-:It's essential for our brains, for our spiritual, our emotional, our physical well-being.
-:Make rest a priority and get 7 to 9 hours of sleep every single night as well.
-:When we are well rested, we are creative.
-:We are able to think clearly and focus. We are at our most powerful.
-:Don't underestimate that, she's be unbusy this week.
-:Check out the show notes on this or any other podcast episode.
-:You'll see the link to a hidden episode to help you with your 5 PM cravings, and you'll be able to read all about my one to one coaching program. Thank you for listening in today.
-:Come back again next week, and, PS, I believe in you.
