190. I thought I'd feel different
I thought I'd feel different, I'm confused.
The way I feel does not match up to my expectation... why?
I've got you, friend - listen into this episode to answer your question.
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Transcript
Hello darling heart, and welcome to this episode of the drink less, live better podcast.
-:This is the podcast that helps you to see that drinking less doesn't need to be stressful, lonely, or boring.
-:I'm your host, Sarah Williamson, and I decided to have a year alcohol free as a little life experiment and haven't looked back.
-:I'm here to support you with your alcohol free or drink less adventures through one to one coaching.
-:Follow me on Instagram at drink less, live better.
-:Find resources on my website, drink less, live better.com, and buy my book, drink less, live better.
-:It's available in all the places you might buy a book.
-:I hope you enjoyed this podcast episode. Let's get straight to it. I thought I'd feel different.
-:Today I want to talk about something that so many of us experience but rarely discuss, that moment when you achieve something
-:you've been working towards but the feelings don't quite match your expectations. You know that thought. I thought I'd feel different.
-:Maybe you've reached a milestone in your alcohol free journey, landed a promotion at work, got the house, lost the weight,
-:or achieved a long held goal, but the euphoria or satisfaction you expected just isn't there.
-:Instead, you might feel, well, pretty much the same or confused or maybe even a bit empty.
-:I had a qualification that I achieved last year after quite a lot of mental wrangling and a lot of effort.
-:The day that I received my certificate, I filed it. I didn't celebrate at all.
-:I didn't have any feelings of euphoria or relief that I expected.
-:It was just a kind of nothing feeling.
-:Anyway, a conversation I was having with a client yesterday.
-:She is nearly 5 months alcohol free now and we were reflecting on who she was and how she was talking 6 months ago.
-:She said being 5 months alcohol free was a wild dream for her 6 months ago.
-:If you'd have asked her how she expected to feel, she'd have said elated, delighted, amazing, and she doesn't.
-:She just feels kind of fine, and she's confused by that.
-:I want you to know that this experience is completely normal.
-:Our brains have this fascinating way of building up expectations about how certain achievements will make us feel.
-:We imagine this scenario where everything clicks into place and suddenly life feels transformed.
-:There's rainbows and unicorns everywhere, but reality often has different plans doesn't it? Let me explain.
-:Our minds are constantly moving the goal posts while we're working towards something. Simultaneously adjusting to it.
-:It's like slowly turning up the brightness on your phone, you hardly notice the change because your eyelids adjust as it happens.
-:Your growth and progress are real, but they can feel subtle because you've been gradually adapting along the way.
-:That's why I wasn't excited to achieve my achievement last year.
-:I saw it coming from a long way out.
-:Let's talk about changing our relationship with alcohol.
-:You might expect to feel eternally joyful and brilliant after 30 days alcohol free, but instead, you might find yourself feeling, well, normal, and that's okay.
-:In fact, it's actually a sign of real change.
-:What once seemed impossible has now become your normal, and this is also interesting.
-:Sometimes the absence of the feelings we expected can make us doubt our choices or our progress.
-:We might think, if this was the right decision, why don't I feel more excited, happy, or fulfilled?
-:But the truth is, feelings don't validate or invalidate your achievements, they're just weather patterns passing through the sky of your consciousness. They're just the same as thoughts.
-:So what can we do when we find ourselves in this space? 1st, acknowledge the feeling or perhaps the lack of feeling without judgment.
-:It's perfectly okay to not feel how you thought you were going to. 2nd, let's look for the subtle changes.
-:Often, the real transformation isn't in dramatic feelings, but in small and quiet moments, like handling a stressful day without
-:reaching for a drink or noticing you're sleeping better. 3rd, can you actually appreciate the journey itself?
-:Sometimes the most significant growth happens in the spaces between our expectations and our reality. 4th, remember that meaningful
-:change often feels ordinary because it's become integrated into who you are.
-:That's actually a sign of authentic transformation. That's a really good thing. And finally, be patient.
-:New feelings and realizations often emerge when we stop expecting them to appear in front of us.
-:If you're in this space right now where reality and expectations aren't quite matching up, I want you to know that you haven't done anything wrong.
-:You shouldn't stop doing what you've started doing.
-:You haven't missed something or failed to appreciate your progress properly. You're simply
-:experiencing a very human response to change.
-:Sometimes the most profound changes in our lives don't come with fireworks or fanfare.
-:They arrive quietly, settling into our lives unnoticed, subtle, but transformative in their own way.
-:If you're struggling with this disconnect between expectations and reality, especially in your journey with alcohol or other
-:life changes, remember that you don't have to navigate it alone.
-:My one to one coaching programs provide a space where we can explore these feelings together and find peace with where you are at the moment.
-:Beautiful transformations can surprise us with their simplicity sometimes, the gradual calm to chaos.
-:Would you do something for me today?
-:Would you rate or review the podcast or drop me a DM or email with your feedback on it? Thank you for listening in today. Come back again next week.
-:Check out the show notes for a link to a hidden podcast episode that will help you with your 5 PM cravings and details about
-:my one to one life coaching and sober coaching programmes. And, PS, I believe in you.
