277. Reflections on a retreat

:: 00:05

Hello and welcome to this episode of the Drink Less, Live Better podcast. I'm your host, Sarah Williamson, and I'm so glad you're here. I'm recording this episode just a couple of days after co-hosting a retreat, and I wanted to capture some thoughts while everything still feels fresh. There's something quite special about the days after an event like this: I'm back at home, the bags have been unpacked, the washing is on, the WhatsApp messages are still coming in, and I keep finding myself smiling at little moments that happened over the weekend—who am I kidding—I properly laugh out loud each time a particular vignette plays through my head.

:: 00:52

When people think about a retreat, they often picture the "finished" experience. They imagine nice surroundings, lovely food, interesting conversations, and perhaps a yoga class or a walk. What they don't usually see is everything that happens before everyone arrives. Hosting this retreat began 9 months ago, yes, approximately the time it would have taken to grow a whole human being.

:: 01:21

It started with finding somewhere that felt just right. The venue matters enormously, and although we considered a fair number of places, one of our community members, Julie, came up with a suggestion for this one. We're looking for somewhere that immediately encourages people to slow down. Somewhere comfortable, without feeling overly polished. Somewhere with spaces for conversation as well as spaces for quiet moments. Somewhere that can feel welcoming from the minute people walk through the door. And we think we hit the jackpot this time.

:: 01:59

Then there are the numbers. Ugh. If we said it once, we said it quite a few times over the weekend. Myself and my co-host are not brilliant at mathsing. But retreats have to work financially. There are accommodation costs, catering, activities, materials, and all the little expenses that appear along the way. We want the retreat to be as financially accessible as possible, and finding that balance takes much more thought than people probably realize.

:: 02:32

Once the venue was booked, we started thinking about the shape of the weekend. We never, ever want activities to feel as though they're simply filling time. Every session has a purpose, and every gap between sessions has a purpose too. We consider people's energy levels. We think about the extroverts and the introverts. We think about when people are likely to feel more open and when they'll need space, when laughter might come naturally, and when quiet reflection would be welcome. The program is a bit like putting together a playlist or a jigsaw: each part influences what comes next. You want a flow that carries people through the experience without anybody feeling rushed.

:: 03:23

And then there are the carefully planned activities. We're looking to provide movement, yoga and walking, and stillness, and creativity, and time for reflection. We're looking for people to lead the activities who create warmth. People who help others feel comfortable and welcome. People who understand the people who come to our retreats and who genuinely care about creating a positive experience. When all those pieces finally come together, there is still a tiny voice wondering whether everyone will enjoy themselves, and that never disappears.

:: 04:06

Months of planning has our head in the details of the practicality, but by the Thursday before, I was weighed down by the responsibility of Friday to Sunday in the company of 38 people I felt responsible for and cared very deeply about the experience they were about to have. We had a couple of cancellations, and I guess that's to be expected, and it was all part of our learning as host-retreat providers.

:: 04:38

And Friday arrives. I leave Surrey by 6:30 in the morning and drive north to be able to meet my co-host by midday. We are so delighted to see each other and have lunch together to make our final details concrete. We have time to go on the walk I've planned for our participants. I always want to pre-check a walk before I lead it, and actually, it was the perfect breath of fresh air we both needed on Friday. We got to the venue for 3:30 to prepare for the arrival of our guests at 5:00. There are names to put on bedroom doors, a welcome table to get ready, final check-in details to get right, to provide a really warm welcome.

:: 05:23

People begin to arrive one by one, often looking slightly nervous, and that's completely understandable. Some come on their own. Some have never met anyone else before. Some have never been on a retreat. Others have spent a couple of weeks wondering whether they should have booked at all. Then something lovely starts to happen. Conversations begin over cups of tea. Someone offers someone else a seat. People discover shared experiences pretty quickly, and the atmosphere softens. Friday evening is a long and leisurely welcome session. There's good food, conversation, a couple of directed activities, and a long meditation session before bed.

:: 06:09

By Saturday morning, the room feels different. People have really arrived. They've landed, and they are ready. We let everyone know what the schedule for the weekend is on Friday night, so people have chosen their activities by breakfast time. Every activity is optional. It's a weekend you get to build yourself, and what a joy that is. No one is going to tell you what you must do or where you must be. You get to choose your own adventure.

:: 06:40

This retreat felt particularly special because everyone seemed so willing to be present, to be right here, right now. There was plenty of laughter, thoughtful conversations, moments of emotion, and lots of genuine encouragement between folks who had only recently met. There was no pressure for anyone to share more that they wanted to, and opportunities to pass on anything that wasn't for you. Everyone seemed to instinctively respect each other's pace, and that created a really comfortable atmosphere. Those are the moments you can't schedule, you can't necessarily plan in. You can create the conditions for connection, but you can't force it. When it happens naturally, it feels like such a joy to be around.

:: 07:30

The Saturday included a fitness class, a creative clay session, a walk, scrapbooking, journaling, a sharing circle, jewelry making, yoga, and a grand quiz in the evening. There was also plenty of time for rest and chatting and eating. The Sunday involved a forest bathing activity, which was glorious, and then it was time to pack. Before we left, we had a beautiful closing circle, which felt like a brilliant time for us to all share our immediate reflections of the weekend, which then continued into the WhatsApp group this week.

:: 08:08

Since coming home, I've been reading through the WhatsApp group, and it's a joy bomb. It really is. We would never assume we got everything right, so I'll be asking our gorgeous community of people for suggestions for next time.

:: 08:23

What touched me was how many people mentioned the feeling of connection this weekend. They talked about feeling accepted, relaxed, and able to be themselves. Several said they'd arrived feeling slightly anxious but were leaving feeling lighter. Others mentioned making friendships they would be continuing after the weekend.

:: 08:45

Some people commented on the pace of the retreat. They appreciated having enough structure to feel supported and secure, while also having time to simply sit with a coffee or read a book or wander around the outdoor space without feeling they were missing out on something important. The welcome matters. The schedule matters. The environment matters. The pauses between activities matter. And oh my goodness, the people really matter.

:: 09:16

And all those decisions that happened months before the retreat quietly shape the experience people eventually have. Hosting a retreat is a huge amount of work, and there were definitely moments during the planning when my co-host and I had emergency Zoom calls to reassure one another that it was all going to be okay. And it was okay. And then it was done.

:: 09:40

The weekend happened. We got to see people leaving with new confidence or fresh perspectives, and I heard conversations over breakfast that would never have happened on a Friday afternoon. Those moments are so special. I'm incredibly grateful to every person who chose to spend their weekend with us. Thank you for trusting us, for showing up, for bringing your honesty, your humor, and your willingness to embrace the whole experience.

:: 10:10

We already have ideas for the next retreat. Of course we do. Send me an email if you want to hear about the 2027 retreat, and we'll keep you posted.

:: 10:20

Thank you for being here with me today. You can find me online at drinklesslive better.com, where you'll find lots of supportive resources. And check out today's podcast show notes for a link to a hidden episode that will help with your 5:00 p.m. cravings and details about my one-to-one life coaching and sober coaching programs. And P.S. I believe in you.