212. "Things you’ll never hear me say" round up

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Hello, darling heart, and welcome to this episode of the Drink Less, Live Better podcast.

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This is the podcast that helps you to see that drinking less doesn't need to be stressful, lonely, or boring.

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I'm your host, Sarah Williamson, and I decided to have a year alcohol free as a little life experiment and haven't looked back.

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I'm here to support you with your alcohol free or drink less adventures.

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Follow me on Instagram at drink less, live better, and find resources on my website, drinkless,livebetter.com. I hope you enjoyed this episode. Let's get straight to it.

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Things you'll never hear me say roundup.

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I run a miniseries within the drink less, live better podcast called things you'll never hear me say.

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I hope you've listened to a few of those episodes.

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Things you'll never hear me say gives me an opportunity to let off steam about some of the things I hear people say and tell

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you why I either dislike them, find them unhelpful, or worse.

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I often come at these episodes through the lens of sobriety, but not always.

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Anyway, we're going to have a little recap now as I've got 10 episodes on this subject and over 200 episodes out in total, so it's probably time.

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The first thing I need to say is I have a confession.

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I obviously have a number one phrase I dislike as I recorded two episodes on the same subject. Whoops.

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I don't know how I manage that because I keep a running list of my subjects, and to date, in 212 episodes, I think it's the only duplicate.

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Anyway, I listened to both episodes on the same subject yesterday, and they are slightly different.

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So I'm not going to lose any sleep over it, and it gives me an opportunity to show that I am very imperfect and I don't need to worry about that. Onwards then.

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Here is a round up of the things you'll never hear me say so far.

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If I can do it, anyone can. Can. Twice. Twice. That's the episode I recorded twice. You've got this. There's no need to cry. Why would you do that? You can't shock me. I've heard it all before. Just think positive.

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This is a safe space, and it is what it is.

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As I looked through this list of things I don't say, I note they are things that make me wince when or if I hear someone else say them too.

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I note these are phrases I never want to hear anyone say to me.

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Working as a youth worker for many years, I used to consider myself a pretty unshockable person, but I look back on that time

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now and realize I was often shocked.

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I just found good ways to stop my face from showing it and also some pretty dark ways of processing that shock.

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Same goes for I've heard it all before.

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There's no way I have, or indeed you have, heard everything there is to be heard on this planet. Sure.

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Some things follow repeating themes or patterns, but there's always going to be new messages and new people saying those messages.

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If I can do it, anyone can.

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Features as my most ranted about phrase then. This is a safe space.

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Features as my most responded to phrase.

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I recorded the podcast episode about it, and at a similar time, I sent a message to all my email club members.

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I cannot bear it if someone tells me the space they are curating or presiding over is a safe space.

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That is for me to judge and make a decision on. No one else ever.

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Whether somewhere is safe or not has precisely nothing to do with the fact someone told me it was and everything to do with how I feel about it. So thanks, but no thanks.

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You can take your safe space and I'll find my own.

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Another common theme in these phrases is the tone of judgment I hear in them.

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The idea that someone has the authority to speak to someone else in an instructional way about their emotions just gets me it just gets me. So what can I tell you?

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Well, 10 episodes in, and there's more where that came from.

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I'll shortly be recording an episode on what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

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What a potent little set of words that is.

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You're very welcome to email me and tell me your things I'll never hear you say and tell me why.

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If you give me permission to make a podcast with it, I will.

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Or you could tell me about a phrase that drives you nuts when someone else says it to you. I like clear language.

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I like to say what I mean and mean what I say.

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I like other people to do the same for me. It shouldn't be complicated. And one last thing, there's silence.

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In those moments that we fill the gap with a word salad, a verbal shoulder shrug, or a platitude that means absolutely nothing,

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it is what it is, can be replaced with silence. Try silence. It's beautiful.

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In the show notes today, you'll find all the links to the 10 episodes I've talked about today so you can easily click and play. Thank you for listening in today.

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Check out the show notes for my coaching programs, and there's a link to a hidden podcast episode that will help you with your 5PM cravings. And, PS, I believe in you.