146. When you know better, do better...
Maya Angelou said…
"Do the best you can until you know better. Then, when you know better, do better."
Is it as easy as that? Find out what Sarah thinks today...
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Transcript
Hello darling heart, and welcome to this episode of the Drink Less, live better podcast.
-:This is the podcast that helps you to see that drinking less doesn't need to be stressful, lonely, or boring.
-:I'm your host, Sarah Williamson, and I decided to have a year alcohol free as a little life experiment and haven't looked back.
-:I'm a best selling author, expert speaker, corporate workshop facilitator, and life coach.
-:I'm here to support you with your alcohol free or drink less adventures.
-:To keep up to date, be sure to follow me on Instagram at drink less, live better, and head to the website drinklesslivebetter.com
-:where you will be able to sign up to the 5 day drinkless experiment, find blog posts and you can choose to join the email
-:club where I share resources, wisdom, insights, and glimmers of hope and joy. I hope you enjoy the episode. Let's get straight to it.
-:Maya Angelou said, do the best you can until you know better, then when you know better do better.
-:It's great advice, really it is, and I'm not here to take anything away from it.
-:I'm just here to question my own inability to do better.
-:Between 2017 and 2019, I was striving to know better, and I assumed that doing better would follow on naturally straight away.
-:I knew my relationship with alcohol was going to change.
-:I suspected I was going to have a long break from alcohol, but I really struggled to drag myself to the start line.
-:I had the hangover from hell in June 2017.
-:I had a night out with 2 of my best friends.
-:We'd gone for cocktails, then gone for dinner with more drinks, and I think we went for more wine after dinner, although, to be honest, I can't remember.
-:I threw up in the toilets in the restaurant. I got the train home.
-:I threw up on the train. 1 of my long suffering friends called me before the train was due to stop at my station to make sure
-:I hadn't fallen asleep and missed my stop.
-:I got off the train, staggered up the hill to my house, undressed on the way up the stairs and passed out face down on my bed.
-:The hangover the next morning was exceptionally bad.
-:It probably wasn't my worst hangover ever but it was ugly.
-:I got myself out of bed, walked the kids to school and came home and cried. I felt physically and emotionally wrecked.
-:I went to a greasy spoon for a late breakfast.
-:If you're not in the UK, you need to know what a greasy spoon is.
-:It's a cheap cafe, usually not in a very salubrious area of town, serving short order, mostly fried foods.
-:I have a special place in my heart for a greasy spoon but if you are already feeling soulless and empty you're probably not
-:setting yourself up for feeling wildly successful or winning at life if you head there with a pounding
-:morning. I ordered egg and fries and full sugar Coke.
-:I sat and flipped through a newspaper, and I knew, I just knew, I couldn't do this anymore.
-:My nights out in London happened once every other month or so.
-:I used to work in Central London before I had the boys, and so I would go up on a regular basis to meet friends after work to catch up.
-:We mostly went out for drinks and dinner.
-:We occasionally called a show or exhibition, but I definitely always pushed for the drinks.
-:I look back now and realize I was mourning parts of the life I used to live.
-:I knew better than to go out and drink my body weight in alcohol.
-:I knew what would happen, and I didn't do better.
-:I just kept on drinking, blacking out, throwing up, suffering the consequences and then doing it all again the next time.
-:One of the reasons I don't say I'm never drinking again is because I used to say that on such a regular basis and not mean it.
-:I couldn't ever trust myself then to not drink again. It was almost said in jest. We all knew I'd drink again.
-:I knew better than to try and drink just one glass of wine, and yet I did.
-:I knew better than to say, I won't stay out past 10 PM, and yet I did.
-:I knew better than to order a cocktail at 4 PM, and yet I did.
-:I knew better than to fall asleep on the last train home, and yet I did.
-:I knew better on so many subjects, yet I repeated and repeated the same behavior. Why?
-:I look back at 2,017 me with compassion. I was learning.
-:I was beginning to monitor which actions had the worst consequences.
-:I was, believe it or not, cutting down, reducing, starting to moderate my drinking.
-:I was right at the start of my sober curious journey.
-:I couldn't do better at that point because I was still gathering the evidence I needed to make the change I was preparing for.
-:So I'd say, when you know better do better, but don't beat yourself up if it takes a while to gather all the pieces of your puzzle.
-:I felt so alone when I was in that spiral.
-:What advice would I give 2017 me now if I thought for a second she might actually listen? I'd say, seek some support.
-:Find people a few steps ahead of you and follow closely behind them. Be gentle on yourself.
-:If something isn't working, try something else, and I'd probably give her a bit of a hug. Thank you for listening in today. Come back again next week.
-:I'd massively appreciate it if you could subscribe, rate, and review the podcast.
-:Well, do that if you love it, obviously.
-:If you don't love it, you wouldn't still be listening, so I think I'm safe asking for your support at this point.
-:Check out the show notes for a link to a hidden podcast episode that will help you with your 5 PM cravings and details about
-:my one to one life coaching and sober coaching programmes. And, PS, I believe in you.
