242. Your window of tolerance
Sarah talks about our “window of tolerance” and teaches us how to expand it for a more balanced life. Let's understand our nervous system’s responses to stress and look at some practical strategies to regulate and build resilience, improve emotional management and coping mechanisms for a better you.
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Transcript
Hello I'm your host Sarah Williamson and welcome to this episode of Drink Less Live Better.
-:Be sure to follow me on Instagram at drinklesslivebetter and head to the website drinklesslivebetter.com where you can sign
-:up for the 5-day Drink Less Experiment, download my free habit tracker and join my email club for regular inspiration, ideas
-:and resources to help you live better.
-:Now let's talk today about something that can make an enormous difference to how we experience life, our window of tolerance.
-:You might have heard the phrase before, it's a term coined by psychiatrist Dr Dan Siegel and describes the optimal zone of
-:arousal where we're able to function and feel our very best.
-:When we're within our window of tolerance our nervous system is calm enough that we can think clearly, feel grounded and make
-:considered decisions but alert enough that we can respond effectively and efficiently to whatever is happening around us.
-:In short, inside the window is where life feels manageable.
-:When we're in this space we can feel a full range of emotions, frustration, joy, sadness, excitement without becoming overwhelmed by them.
-:We can feel things without being swept away. We can respond rather than react.
-:We can connect with others, learn new things and make changes that stick.
-:But of course, we don't always stay in our window of tolerance.
-:When life throws challenges our way, stress, grief, conflict, uncertainty, our nervous system can shift outside that comfortable middle zone.
-:We can either go up into what's called hyperarousal or down into hypoarousal. Let's begin with the up.
-:In hyperarousal the body's fight or flight system takes over.
-:You might notice your heart racing, your breath becoming shallow, your muscles tightening.
-:Emotionally you might feel anxious, irritable, angry, panicky or out of control.
-:It's as if everything is happening too fast.
-:This is the I can't slow down side of the window where stress hormones flood the system and rational thought becomes difficult.
-:You might find yourself snapping at a loved one, overreacting to small things or feeling like you can't calm down or rest no matter what you try. Then there's the down side, hypoarousal.
-:This is when our system goes into shutdown or freeze mode.
-:Maybe you've had moments where you feel numb, disconnected, spaced out or completely exhausted.
-:You might feel like you're watching life happen from a distance.
-:This is the body's way of protecting us from overwhelm by Checking out.
-:Neither of these states are bad, they're natural protective responses but when we spend too much time outside our window of
-:tolerance we start to feel dysregulated and life can become harder to navigate.
-:We might turn to coping strategies that numb or distract us like drinking for example.
-:Overworking, scrolling endlessly or withdrawing from people. So why does this matter then?
-:Because when we understand our window of tolerance we start to notice what's happening before we spiral.
-:We can begin to tune into our body's cues, those little whispers that tell us we're edging towards the side of the window
-:and we can take gentle steps to bring ourselves back.
-:Now are you ready for some good news?
-:Our window of tolerance isn't fixed, it can be expanded.
-:Just like a muscle we can strengthen our capacity to stay grounded and present even in the face of stress.
-:The more we return to a calm regulated state after being activated the more resilient we become.
-:We train our nervous system to trust that it's safe to come back to balance.
-:Okay then Sarah, how do we do that?
-:Well like so many things it begins with awareness.
-:Begin to notice your own signs of leaving your window. Do you clench your jaw?
-:Do you hunch your shoulders when you're anxious?
-:Do you feel foggy or flat or when you've had too much stress, noticing this is the first step. Then practice some gentle techniques.
-:Breathing deeply into your belly, feeling your feet on the floor or gently stretching can all help signal to your body that you're safe.
-:Try naming what you can see, hear and feel.
-:This brings your attention back to the present moment. Another key practice is self-compassion.
-:When you find yourself dysregulated, snappy, tearful or withdrawn, instead of judging yourself, try acknowledging.
-:Ah, I'm outside my window of tolerance right now.
-:That small shift in language brings understanding rather than shame and judgment and in itself that will help you to regulate. Connection is another powerful tool.
-:Our nervous systems are wired to co-regulate with others.
-:A kind voice, a safe presence, a hug, even a calm pet can help bring us back into balance.
-:If you've ever felt instantly calmer after talking to someone kind, that's your nervous system remembering what safety feels like.
-:And finally, lifestyle habits play a huge role.
-:Regular sleep, nourishing food, gentle movement, time outside and reducing alcohol or taking it away completely all help widen your window over time.
-:The body and mind are partners in regulation and the more you care for one, the more the other one benefits.
-:So when you notice yourself feeling easily overwhelmed, anxious or disconnected, pause, take a breath, ask yourself am I within my window of tolerance right now?
-:If not, what small thing could help me return?
-:Remember, this is a lifelong practice, not something to get right every time you bring yourself back to calm and away from chaos.
-:You're teaching your body that safety is possible and that that is how we build resilience, presence and peace.
-:Thank you so much for listening today. Please come back again next week.
-:Do one kind thing this week for yourself and maybe for me too.
-:Subscribe, rate and review the podcast if you love it. I'd be so grateful.
-:Check out the show notes for a link to a hidden podcast episode that will help you with your 5 p.m.
-:Cravings and details about my one-to-one life coaching and sober coaching programs and P.S. I believe in you.
