274. A story about a scarf
A story about a scarf that isn't really about a scarf and what it taught me about comfort, resilience, and emotional attachment.
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Transcript
Hello and welcome to this episode of the Drink Less Live Better podcast. I'm your host Sarah Williamson and I'm really glad you're here with me. Today's podcast is a story about a scarf. Well, it kind of is a story about a scarf, but it also isn't really.
::I bought myself a scarf in 2017 when I was 39. I bought it for myself for Christmas from the Amnesty International online shop. It was a large square cotton Palestinian keffiyeh. It had gorgeous tassels, a beautiful colourful pattern, and it was made in the Hebaray textile factory on the West Bank. The last remaining keffiyeh factory in Palestine. The design of my scarf is called Safad and is named after the city of Safad, high in the Galilee Mountains, where Christians, Muslims, and Jewish communities peacefully coexist. Its colorful design is said to represent the hearts of Palestinians' unwavering spirits. And it is such a colorful design. Pink, purple, blue, green, a kaleidoscope. It is gorgeous. I loved it. I'm going to post a couple of pictures on Instagram over the last 9 years of me wearing it on so many occasions. Go take a look, you'll agree it is a beauty.
::Anyway, I lost it. I lost the scarf a little over a year ago. I lost it whilst I was at a very stressful hospital appointment with my son. I had it on in the car on the way there, and I didn't have it when I got home. Dear listener, I was more upset than was probably reasonable. I went back to the hospital, I retraced my steps, I asked people if they'd found it, I called the lost property line, and I went to the lost property office over a week, but no, it was gone.
::Now, I was upset because it was a great looking scarf, but I came to realise it really was more than a pretty piece of fabric. This scarf had seen me through my son's devastating diagnosis in 2018, my husband's horrific diagnosis in 2019, my cancer treatment, and much more besides. Sure, it had seen me through good times too, but the ones I can remember it most vividly for were the times of extreme upset. Has an item of clothing ever soaked up so many tears? Was it in fact a giant hanky and not in fact a scarf at all?
::Well, once I had accepted I wasn't getting my one back, mission replacement began. Well, Amnesty no longer stocked it and neither did any other online retailers. Similar ones were available but not the same, not that particular design. The factory wasn't producing these scarves anymore. Understandable, there is a war on, I am not complaining about the factories, staying alive is absolutely more important and taking all of their energy right now. I had bookmarked a search on Vinted and eBay and then finally I set my friend Catherine on the case. there is no defeat until Catherine declares defeat. And she found it! In fact, a couple she found too, in other countries, but that did not matter. I was prepared to pay shipping from anywhere in the world.
::Anyway, it turned out one was a no-go because stock online was not a reflection of their real-life stock, and the other one couldn't be shipped to the UK customs computer said no. Nearly a year in and I thought I was about to get my scarf, but no. Until this week. A website I was on a waitlist for emailed to say they had one scarf in my colourway, Safad, and before I had finished reading the email I had clicked and bought it.
::I said I was not going to celebrate until it arrived, until it was in my hand. And a couple of days later, here it is. It has been delivered. I am so delighted. The design and colours are perfect. There is a slight variation in the way the tassels hang, and of course it doesn't yet wear like mine and doesn't yet smell like mine, but I'm going to wash it, hang it on the line, watch it blowing in the wind, and I am going to wear it all summer. I will not care that June, July, and August do not call for a scarf. I will be wearing it anyway. It feels like I've had my giant hanky returned, and I am so, so pleased, so relieved. It feels like I've got my security blanket back, and I am not afraid to admit it.
::Thank you for being here with me today. You can find me online at drinklesslivebetter.com where you'll find lots of supportive resources. Check out today's podcast show notes for a link to a hidden podcast that will help with 5 PM cravings and details about my one-to-one life coaching and sober coaching programs. And P.S., I believe in you.
