178. Buddhist Compassion
Wise Compassion vs Idiot Compassion
An interesting perspective from my coaching frontline!
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Transcript
Hello, darling heart, and welcome to this episode of the drink less, live better podcast.
-:This is the podcast that helps you to see that drinking less doesn't need to be stressful, lonely, or boring.
-:I'm your host, Sarah Williamson, and I decided to have a year alcohol free as a little life experiment and haven't looked back.
-:I'm a best selling author, expert speaker, corporate workshop facilitator, and life coach.
-:I'm here to support you with your alcohol free or drink less adventures.
-:Follow me on Instagram at drink less, live better.
-:Find resources on my website, drink less, live better.com, and buy my book, drink less, live better.
-:It's available in all the places you might purchase a book.
-:I hope you enjoy this podcast episode. Let's get straight to it.
-:The Buddhist principles of wise compassion versus idiot compassion.
-:Wise compassion and idiot compassion are 2 very different things.
-:When I'm coaching with 1 of my 1 to 1 clients, understanding the distinction is really crucial.
-:This Buddhist concept really offers me valuable insights.
-:Wise compassion, also known as fierce or tough compassion, involves a deep understanding of what truly serves another person's well-being in the long term.
-:It's about seeing the bigger picture and sometimes making difficult choices that may cause short term discomfort and medium
-:term discomfort that lead to lasting positive change.
-:On the other hand, idiot compassion, while well intentioned, often stems from a desire to avoid conflict or that discomfort.
-:It may involve enabling harmful behaviors or avoiding necessary confrontations out of a misguided sense of kindness.
-:I work with people looking to change their
-:uncomfortable truths. We don't shy away from discussing the realities of alcohol my clients have experienced.
-:Wise compassion guides me to set really clear boundaries.
-:We establish and maintain the way we are going to work together in our coaching relationship.
-:Wise compassion guides me to encourage accountability.
-:I support my clients to take responsibility for their choices and actions rather than helping them make excuses.
-:Wise compassion helps me to provide honest feedback.
-:I offer offer truthful, constructive observations even when they might be difficult to hear.
-:Wise compassion guides me to support without enabling.
-:I offer emotional support while avoiding actions that might inadvertently support continued harmful patterns or ways of behaving.
-:Idiot compassion, in contrast, might lead to avoiding difficult conversations to spare someone's feelings.
-:Idiot compassion might lead to making excuses for unfulfilled commitments or hesitating to challenge harmful beliefs or actions.
-:It might offer false reassurances rather than addressing real concerns.
-:In practice, wise compassion might involve gently but firmly pointing out inconsistencies between a client's stated goals and intentions and their actions.
-:It could mean expressing concern about patterns or behaviors that the client may be minimizing and reducing.
-:Crucially, wise compassion is not about being harsh or uncaring.
-:It's deeply rooted in genuine care and a desire to see someone thrive.
-:It's about having the courage to be truly helpful and supportive even when that's challenging.
-:As a coach, I must also apply wise compassion to myself.
-:How hard is it to sometimes take your own great advice and action it?
-:This means acknowledging my limitations and also seeking my own support and professional supervision when I need to.
-:Wise compassion is honesty, clarity, and genuine compassion, caring for someone in a deeply truthful way.
-:Idiot compassion is sparing feelings and avoiding rocking the boat.
-:Done out of good intention perhaps, but it means no change or progress is made.
-:Using the words wise and idiot here is from the Buddhist principle.
-:I can't say I'm a massive fan of the word idiot, but it does illustrate the point.
-:Come and join me for some one to one coaching.
-:I've got slots available for this sober September, and I've also got further slots into the autumn.
-:You can drop me an email, sarah@drinklesslivebetter.com, and I'll get all the details straight to you. Thank you for listening in today. Come back again next week.
-:Please subscribe, rate, and review the podcast if you love it, and maybe just turn it off if you don't love it.
-:Check out the show notes for a link to a hidden podcast episode that will help you with your 5 PM cravings and details about
-:my one to one life coaching and sober coaching programmes. And PS, I believe in you.
