279. Consistently Inconsistent

:: 00:05

Hello and welcome to this episode of the Drink Less, Live Better podcast. I'm your host, Sarah Williamson, and I'm so glad you're here.

:: 00:15

I've been thinking recently about consistency; it's one of those words that gets thrown around a lot, especially in the world of health and wellbeing. We're told that consistency is key: stay consistent, be disciplined, never miss a day. And while I understand the message behind it, I also think that that might be missing something very important. To be human is surely to be inconsistent, and not as a flaw in our character, but just part of being alive.

:: 00:51

If someone followed me around with a clipboard for a month, they would find plenty of inconsistencies. Some mornings I wake up full of energy, "I'm going to win the world," and other mornings, well, I do not. Some weeks I feel really connected to my work and totally in flow, and occasionally I wonder whether I have anything useful to offer the world. There are books I've completely changed my mind about, opinions I've held really strongly that actually no longer fit the person I am today. Things I used to believe about alcohol, success, confidence, and happiness have all shifted over the years.

:: 01:38

And you know what, I'm probably actually quite pleased about that. Changing your mind often means that you've learned something. What is the point of having a mind if you don't change it? It usually means you've had new experiences, listened to different perspectives, or simply allowed yourself to grow. I'd be far more concerned if I believed exactly the same things today as I did 20 years ago. Life has a wonderful way of grinding down your certainty. Those curveballs, yep, they've given me new perspectives, even if I didn't really want them.

:: 02:19

There are also parts of my life that have become remarkably steady. This podcast is a great example. Every week, for nearly 300 episodes, I've sat down to write, record, and produce another episode. Some episodes have flowed effortlessly, and others have taken far longer than I expected. Some have been recorded with complete confidence, while others have involved deleting whole sections and starting again. The experience has been inconsistent, but the commitment has been consistent, and those are two very different things.

:: 02:58

The same goes for my relationship with physical movement. Since I stopped drinking, strength training has become a part of my week: 3 or 4 sessions most weeks since 2020. Every now and again, life gets in the way. Holidays happen, illness happens, busy periods happen. Yet when I look back over 6 years, I don't remember the individual missed sessions, but I do see hundreds of workouts that quietly accumulated. And the consistency isn't found in perfection; it's found in returning, in coming back to what matters time and again.

:: 03:38

And I think that's an important distinction, because so many of us give ourselves a very hard time for being inconsistent in ways that are entirely normal. Motivation will come and go. Confidence has its own rhythm. Some weeks enthusiasm is overflowing, and other times your energy barely stretches to the essentials. And the essentials are what you must do. You're a person, not a machine.

:: 04:08

There are seasons when cooking healthy meals feels easy, and seasons when beans on toast feels like an achievement. There are weeks when conversations flow naturally, and others when you want a bit more quiet. Some mornings your mind feels clear. On other days it feels as though someone's shaken a snow globe inside your head. None of this tells you who you are permanently.

:: 04:34

What tells you who you are are the values you keep coming back to. Perhaps your family always knows they can rely on you. Friends know you'll show up when it matters. Saying sorry comes naturally when you've got something wrong. Keeping your word is simply part of who you are. Those quieter forms of consistency rarely get celebrated, or maybe even noticed. Yet they shape our lives far more than ticking every box on a habit tracker for food, movement, drinking water, and all the other things.

:: 05:11

There's something else too. When people decide to stop drinking, they often expect themselves to become instantly consistent in every area of life. They imagine that once alcohol is gone, motivation will always be high, routines will run smoothly, and every healthy habit will fall neatly into place. Shocking news flash incoming. That isn't going to be how it works.

:: 05:39

Removing alcohol gives you a stronger foundation, for sure, but life will always be lifey. You will wake up as yourself. Difficult days will arrive. There'll be tiredness, distraction, emotion, and frustration. They don't disappear overnight. And the difference will be that you're meeting those moments, perhaps, with a clearer mind, and that will give you a bit more space to choose your next step. One small choice at a time eventually becomes a life that feels different and more comfortable.

:: 06:15

Looking back, I can see that many of the things I'm proudest of weren't built through dramatic bursts of effort and grind. They grew because I kept returning to them, sometimes enthusiastically, sometimes reluctantly, with a massive strop, sometimes with confidence, and sometimes while entirely questioning myself. The unfairness of having to keep going through the thing when it would have been easier just to jack it all in. Progress carries on when we choose it over and over.

:: 06:50

If you've been feeling frustrated because you're inconsistent, I'd love you to widen your lens for a moment. Rather than asking yourself whether you've been perfect this week, ask yourself what you've stayed connected to over the months and the years. Maybe you've kept showing up for yourself more often than you realize. Maybe you've become someone who gets up a little quicker after a wobble. Maybe you've learned that missing one day has very little impact compared with giving up altogether.

:: 07:24

Being human means you'll be inconsistent in countless little ways. Being intentional means you can still build a life that's wonderfully consistent where it matters most.

:: 07:37

Thank you for being here with me today. You'll find me online at drinklesslivebetter.com, where you'll find lots of supportive resources. Check out today's podcast show notes for a link to a hidden episode that will help with your 5 p.m. cravings and details about my one-to-one life coaching and sober coaching programs. And P.S. I believe in you.