66. Excuses, excuses!

-: 00:09

Hello darling heart, and welcome to the Drink Less, Live Better podcast.

-: 00:16

This is the podcast that helps you to see that drinking less doesn't need to be stressful, lonely, or boring.

-: 00:25

I'm your host, Sarah Williamson, and I decided to have a year alcohol free as a little life experiment and haven't looked back.

-: 00:31

With my experience and training, I now help other people with their alcohol free or drink less adventures.

-: 00:39

You can find out more and sign up to my 5 day drink less challenge at drink less live better dot com.

-: 00:45

I'm here to tell you that you can relax, connect and have fun without alcohol in your life.

-: 00:49

Join me here each week to find out how.

-: 00:53

Today we're going to talk about excuses.

-: 00:59

Excuses, excuses oh they are many and varied.

-: 01:13

What it really boils down to though, I think, is a case of being stuck because you have a fear of trusting yourself and a

-: 01:24

lack of clarity around what you really, really want for yourself, both in the short term, the medium term and the long term.

-: 01:39

Definitely, in my first summer sober I had all of the excuses around festivals, weddings, barbecues, pub gardens and my reasons

-: 01:50

were absolutely based around the fear of both not trusting myself and also what other people were going to say.

-: 01:59

I knew that if I gave myself the tiniest, tiniest window of opportunity not to stick with the goal that I'd set myself.

-: 02:09

It was all over, and it would have been all over before it really began if I didn't really stick clearly to my guns?

-: 02:17

To get clear on what you want it might be best to think about the long term first.

-: 02:19

Who is the person that you're becoming?

-: 02:28

What are your longer term goals as far as your family is concerned, your work is concerned, your finances are concerned?

-: 02:33

There are so many different areas in life where alcohol has a massive impact.

-: 02:37

If that's too big for you, roll it back a bit.

-: 02:41

What are you looking for yourself in the next year or so?

-: 02:45

And if that's too much, then bring it right down into the present moment.

-: 02:50

What are you looking to get out of this week in your life?

-: 02:54

How can you make your life better this week without alcohol in it?

-: 02:59

Do you have a history of things not working out?

-: 03:06

Are you the person, like me, who said a a 1000000 times before, I'm never drinking again?

-: 03:11

And that worked really, really well for as long as the hangover lasted.

-: 03:18

For me, I'm never drinking again was said as a joke at the end of my drinking days.

-: 03:22

Absolutely nobody believed me when I said it out loud.

-: 03:28

And, of course, I didn't believe myself either until the moment where I really, really did mean it.

-: 03:33

And that moment was when I got totally clear on what I wanted.

-: 03:40

My original goal was to be alcohol free for a year. It was a massive stretch.

-: 03:44

I knew I could almost certainly do a month alcohol free.

-: 03:54

I thought that probably if I could do a month, I could do something like 3 months, but I had no idea whether that year long goal was going to be achievable.

-: 04:00

But I have got a history of things working out in my life.

-: 04:10

So where stuff hasn't worked out before I tried not to use any of that evidence and I used the evidence in my life of knowing

-: 04:16

that I had met my husband at a particular point in my life that it worked out beautifully.

-: 04:20

I've had children in my life when it worked out really beautifully.

-: 04:28

Mostly, the right jobs have crossed my path in the moments that I've been looking for them and really, really wanting them.

-: 04:34

I have lost out buying houses, and it's felt awful at the time.

-: 04:43

And I've also done incredibly well buying houses when it's worked out perfectly in the moment that it felt like it was supposed

-: 04:47

to, even if it didn't seem like it there and then.

-: 04:58

So I refer to my history of looking out where things worked out well and applying some of that learning to my year of being alcohol free.

-: 05:05

I knew that if I focused on the smaller goals, the bigger goal would become available to me.

-: 05:15

That clarity about 1 year alcohol free was broken down into smaller steps, and through that 1st summer sober, I was able to

-: 05:20

see each event as a stepping stone to the next one.

-: 05:28

Once I'd got free through an alcohol free wedding, I knew I knew I knew in my heart I'd be able to do an alcohol free festival.

-: 05:37

Once I'd got through an alcohol free festival, pub gardens were going to be an absolute walk in the park or a picnic in the

-: 05:43

park that were often used to be boozy and no longer are for me.

-: 05:54

Getting totally clear and then trusting your self helps you to see those excuses for what they really are, helps you to put

-: 06:00

those excuses aside and say, these are not my stories. This is not who I am.

-: 06:05

I'm clear about what I want, and I totally trust myself to go for it.

-: 06:13

If you can't a 100% trust yourself at the moment, who are the people that you can gather around you?

-: 06:15

Who will be able to cheer you on?

-: 06:17

Who will be able to hold you accountable?

-: 06:27

Who do you need to share your story with so that they understand how much this means to you? Let's do it. Let's take those excuses apart.

-: 06:37

Let's get clear and let's face that fear of trusting yourself. You trust yourself this summer. You can do the hard things.

-: 06:41

Check out the show notes on this podcast or any other episode.

-: 06:47

You'll find details about the drink less, live better 2023 retreat.

-: 06:55

You'll see the link to a hidden podcast episode to help you with your 5 PM cravings, and you'll be able to read about my one to 1 coaching program.

-: 06:58

I'd love it if you could follow and download the podcast.

-: 07:09

And if you feel inclined to leave a review, that'd be lovely as well. Thank you for listening in today. Come back again next week. And PS, I believe in you.