12. How can you get comfortable socialising alcohol free?

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Hello darling heart, and welcome to the drink less, live better podcast. This is the podcast that helps you to see that drinking

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less doesn't need to be stressful, lonely, or boring. I'm your host, Sarah Williamson, and I decided to have a year alcohol

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free as a little life experiment and haven't looked back. With my experience and training, I now help other women with their

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alcohol free or drink less adventures. I'm here to tell you that you can relax, connect and have fun without alcohol in your

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life. Join me here each week to find out how. Today, I'd like to tell you a story about how I began to get comfortable with

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socialising without alcohol. Sometimes what you are most afraid of doing is the very thing that will set you free, and this

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was certainly the case for me. If you'd have asked me 2 years ago how I felt about going out for a night and staying sober,

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I'd have told you it sounded boring, stressful, and antisocial, and that, my friends, is because I was afraid. I was afraid

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that I wouldn't have anything to talk about. The conversation would lull. There'd be no raucous laughter and definitely no

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hilarious stories of the night before to share the following morning. I was afraid that if I didn't drink, I'd be asked about

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why I wasn't drinking, and I'd have to explain with a good reason. Other people might think I was an alcoholic, and I'd feel

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left out because I was the only one not drinking. I was afraid because if alcohol bonded us together on a night out, I'd feel

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as if I was holding everyone else back from their fun. I didn't want to be judged by anyone else, and yet and yet I was both

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judging myself and second guessing what was going on inside everyone else's heads. Because I used to be the one who organized

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the nights out, was first to the bar or dance floor, and sometimes last to leave, I felt I had a reputation to either keep

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up or slowly start to change. I started to suggest alternative activities to nights out, brunches, visits to nice tea shops,

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and lovely long walks where the conversation was fabulous, no one retold the same story three times, we didn't talk over each

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other, and we didn't lose our chain of thought. No one misses the alcohol on these occasions, and I definitely don't miss

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the hangovers the next day. I did also accept any pub dates friends organized. I didn't want to miss out just because I wasn't

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going to have an alcoholic drink. I made sure I arrived early and ordered a tonic in a big g and t glass so no one questioned

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what I was drinking. I love being out in the pub with my friends. The atmosphere, the shared experience, the fun, I want all

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of that, please. I know this won't appeal to everyone who is perhaps in the early days alcohol free, but I would urge you

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not to cut yourself off from your really good friends and to ask for their help and support when you really need it. Here

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is a WhatsApp message I shared in a group of some really good friends prior to a big socialising weekend, And, by the way,

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these friends were astonished that I'd stuck to my alcohol free commitment for so long at that point. Hi, darling hearts.

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I'm so looking forward to our weekend together. I love and miss you all loads. Just so you know, I'm carrying on with my health

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kick and won't be drinking when we get together this time. I'll be bringing some amazing ingredients for mocktail making,

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so no need to feel sorry for me. I'm still happy to play barmaid. I'll pour anything and everything for anyone else. I'll

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still talk absolute nonsense, sing out of tune, and dance badly. See you on Friday. Can't wait. Ciao. Sarah. Of course, we

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had another fabulous weekend together. Sending a pre warning can be a really useful tool for setting you up for successful

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sober socialising. So, in summary, accept the feelings if you feel afraid of sober socials to start with, consider changing

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your socialising activities, Pre warn friends if that feels good for you, and you never know. Things may turn out much better

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than you expected, and you'll always be hangover free the next day, so that's a win every time. Thank you for listening to

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this episode. Please listen in again next time. You can sign up to my 5 day drink less experiment and find out about working

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with me one to 1 at drink less, live better.com. It would make me happier than a Buddhist monk if you would please subscribe,

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5 star review, and comment on my podcast on whatever platform you listen. Imagine it like the tasting notes on the finest

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wine I am never going to drink. Thank you, and PS, I believe in you.