13. Feeling your feelings when you're alcohol free

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Hello, darling heart, and welcome to the drink less, live better podcast. This is the podcast that helps you to see that drinking

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less doesn't need to be stressful, lonely or boring. I'm your host Sarah Williamson and I decided to have a year alcohol free

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as a little life experiment and haven't looked back. With my experience and training I now help other women with their alcohol

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free or drink less adventures. I'm here to tell you that you can relax, connect and have fun without alcohol in your life.

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Join me here each week to find out how. I've heard it said before that one of the best things about being alcohol free is

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the realisation that you can really feel your feelings, but that the opposite is also true. One of the worst things about

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being alcohol free is feeling your feelings. One of the first things I noticed when I decided to try my alcohol free life

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experiment was how much more steady I felt. There was no longer any low level brain fog or creeping anxiety, no more rising

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panic or that feeling of unease. My mood was certainly helped by the fact that I was suddenly sleeping much more soundly and

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for longer due to the fact my body wasn't having to process all the toxins in the alcohol. It took a while to get used to

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the feelings of tiredness at the end of each day. Towards the end of the week, well, Wednesday really, I would look forward

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to a drink in the evening as a way of coping with being tired. I realize now that a drink did nothing to help with that feeling

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and indeed only exacerbated it. I had to look for other tools to help with that tiredness. I chose to make time for going

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for a brief evening walk, having a bath, sitting down with a book, or listening to a podcast. The feelings that occur in most

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of our lives like sadness, fear, anger, guilt, shame, frustration and overwhelm all needed slightly different tools to handle

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them, but one idea that I began to use regularly was taking the time to recognise the feelings and acknowledge them. Previously

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I'd been quick to pour a g and t to help to escape the feeling of overwhelm or a glass of wine when somebody had annoyed me.

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I felt guilty about whether I had the balance right between work, family, and the rest of my life. I reconsidered how I could

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change things. I was sad about some health issues within my family, and addressing this grief was never made better with the

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addition of alcohol. Going alcohol free has given me the chance to really think about how I want to feel in various situations

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in my life, and the knock on effect has been a really positive impact on my behaviour. The inside of my head is a much nicer

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place to be. I no longer have huge internal arguments with myself about whether I can have a drink tonight, how many I can

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have, what time I can start, or whether a white wine spritzer counts as a soft drink. My internal dialogue more often sounds

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like a kind friend rather than a critical old cow. I'm more kind and forgiving both towards myself and other people. I find

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it easier to let go of the negative emotions, to forget about them and move on, or make a decision to think more deeply about

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them. Where did they come from and why? What can I learn here? I don't punish myself for past mistakes drinking me made. I'm

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honest with myself and I acknowledge and accept the feelings that come, and I know I'm better placed to process them without

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alcohol than I ever was with half a bottle of Pinot Grigio inside me. Now all this feelings business has perhaps sounded like

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a full time job, which, of course, it isn't. It's just the stuff that life is made of. But I cannot pass up the opportunity

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to tell you how much I do not miss a hangover. Dear God, my hangovers got worse and worse through my thirties. Waking up to

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that feeling of impending doom, hot, cold, sweaty, ready to puke, room spinning, no thanks, those feelings I'm delighted to

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have said ciao to. Thank you so much for listening in to this episode. Please listen in again next time. You can sign up to

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my 5 day drink less experiment and find out about working with me one to 1 at drink less live better dot com. It would make

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me happier than a Buddhist monk if you would please subscribe, 5 star review, and comment on my podcast on whatever platform

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you listen. Imagine it like the tasting notes on the finest wine I am never going to drink. Thank you, and, p s, I believe in you.