33. Is connection the opposite of addiction?

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Hello, darling heart, and welcome to the drink less, live better podcast. This is the podcast that helps you to see that drinking

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less doesn't need to be stressful, lonely, or boring. I'm your host, Sarah Williamson, and I decided to have a year alcohol

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free as a little life experiment and haven't looked back. With my experience in training, I now help other women with their

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alcohol free and drink less adventures. I'm here to tell you that you can be truly joyful without alcohol in your life. Join

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me here each week to find out how. Today, I'd like to tell you a story about connection, what it meant to me then, what it

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means to me now, and what I predict it will mean to me in the future. If you've not watched the TED talk given by Johann Hari,

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everything you think you know about addiction is wrong, I recommend you look it up straight after you've listened to me and

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enjoy his wisdom. Almost everyone I know who works in a similar field to me knows and loves the last line of his talk. The

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opposite of addiction is not sobriety. The opposite of addiction is connection. I love that thought too, but I try to keep

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in mind that it's a line that's easy to say and, in reality, harder for some of us to practice. Johan talks about the amazing

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Rat Park work of doctor Bruce Alexander. He studied the ways rats become addicted to morphine. Those in cages in isolation

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could either drink water or water laced with morphine, and they always chose the morphine version, eventually dying from that

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choice. The rats who lived in Rat Park, a kind of rat utopia with plenty of stimulation, other rats, and also 2 refreshment

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choices, chose water. The Rat Park rats were, of course, altogether happier rats. Johan tells us that individual recovery

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is okay, but that we should perhaps be talking more about social recovery, looking to each other for love and support. As

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I watched his talk again this morning, I began to wonder why I hadn't ever looked for of like minded people when I first knew

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I was going to go alcohol free for a year. I know that shame played a big played a big part in my choice not to talk about

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what I was doing. I mean, people who give up drinking are the ones who really need to. Right? The ones who've blown their

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lives up in a dumpster fire, the ones who are on the receiving end of an intervention, the ones who pour vodka on their cornflakes

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for breakfast. I say this all tongue in cheek, of course. I had moments of thinking that the only place I was going to find

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sober socializing was AA. I googled local AA meetings several times. I was never going to go, but I suspected my people might

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be hanging out there and perhaps even having a nice time. I didn't know then what I know now. I desperately wanted to know,

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love and trust someone slightly further ahead on their journey than I wanted than I was. I wanted people right alongside me

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and I also wanted people coming up behind who I could help and support too. I was not a user of social media before 2019.

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I came into it very gently at the start of that year, just to use one specific Facebook group initially that happened to be

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nothing to do with sobriety. I then began to realize there were Facebook groups for just about any subject in the world you'd

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care to think about. I joined a few groups with sober or alcohol free in the title and found some groups I loved, and some

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not so much. There were enormous groups with thousands and thousands of people in and smaller groups with a few hundred. 100.

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Some groups run by sober powerhouses and some by people who had set their group up in the hope of just finding a few friends.

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Every group has a different feel depending on who runs the group, who moderates it, and how well, what the rules are, the

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country, the ethos, and the size. Some groups have some very loud shouty opinionated people in, and some are run with nothing

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but love and kindness. I suggest to you that you do your own research on the groups that suit you. Although, I will tell you

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my own personal favourite, sober inspired pirates. Come and request to join, a less pirate like bunch you're never likely

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to find. Some groups are focused on one pathway to recovery and others are more celebratory of all pathways. Of course, not

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every group is hosted on social media. There are many other communities hidden in all the nooks and crannies of the internet.

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Some groups are free and some are a paid membership. Some offer amazing accountability and coaching for support. And there

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is the opportunity to meet in real life. Now, you may end up finding these events online, but the total joy of whole people,

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not heads from video screens, hugs, high fives, shared lunches out, dog walks, visits to new places. Yes. Yes. Let me have

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some of that. I'm hosting an event this weekend, and I cannot wait. Through sober communities and training courses, I've met

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some proper friends, not just acquaintances, but people who really know what I'm all about, who see, hear, and understand

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me, and I do the very same for them. These beautiful souls make everything seem okay on a slightly less than good day. And

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the future? I can only see more goodness, more connection and collaboration, more opportunities to make friends, to share,

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to belong, to be together. Anyway, all this to say, don't feel alone in your choice to drink less or be alcohol free. There

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are other people out there making the same rock star decisions you are, and they are just waiting for you to find them. Its

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true connection is the opposite of addiction. Don't forget to go and watch Johann Hari right now. Thank you for listening

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in to this episode. Please listen in again next time. Thank you, and PS. I believe in you.