30. Own your behaviour

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Hello darling heart and welcome to the drink less live better podcast. This is the podcast that helps you to see that drinking

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less doesn't need to be stressful, lonely, or boring. I'm your host, Sarah Williamson, and I decided to have a year alcohol

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free as a little life experiment and haven't looked back. With my experience and training, I now help other women with their

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alcohol free or drink less adventures. I'm here to tell you that you can be truly joyful without alcohol in your life. Join

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me here each week to find out how. This is the story about how I came to be able to own my behaviour around alcohol. Have

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you ever read Man's Search For Meaning? If you haven't it's one I recommend. When I'm feeling a bit rubbish, I often pick

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it up for a quick flick through. It's not an obvious choice for a book to turn to when you're needing your soul soothed, but

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I love it. Viktor Frankl says, everything can be taken from a man but one thing, the last of the human freedoms to choose

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one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way. Now, he was busy choosing his attitude in far harder

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circumstances than I have ever had to, and the freedoms that were taken from him are almost too much for me to bear thinking

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about. I don't compare my experience to his, but I can deeply value his thoughts on the subject of choosing one's own way.

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In deciding to choose my alcohol free life experiment, I took a long hard look at the way my drinking was making me behave.

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Did you hear that? Did you? Did you hear what I just said? Making, how alcohol was making me behave. I mean, really? Would

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I still say something like this? I can't believe it. Yep. Turns out I would. You see, alcohol hasn't been making me behave

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in any way at all. My old default story was something like this, drink more than is good for me. The thought associated with

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that would be, whoops, I shouldn't have done that, and, of course, this thought could have popped up after the first sip or

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when I was 6 drinks deep. The feeling associated with that would have been anxiety or unworthiness, there'd have been tiredness,

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a low point, I'd have been disappointed with myself and the behaviour associated with that would have been grumpy, snappy

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and demotivated. So alcohol wasn't making me behave in a grumpy, snappy or demotivated way, it was a longer journey to get

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there involving thoughts and feelings. Now, for a quick reality check here, alcohol didn't always result in a negative set

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of behaviors for me. Sometimes just the right amount to drink made me sociable and hilarious. I would of course, now point

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out, past me, that I always was sociable and hilarious. I still am. It's the atmosphere and the friendship group that make

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all the fun possible. I have moments that I look back on and regret. I get these little flashes into my past that bolt out

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of nowhere every now and again. The idiotic thing, I said to a friend of a friend. No harm was meant by it, but much offence

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was caused. A ridiculous conversation with a long suffering barman, very fancy shoes left in the back of a taxi, an early

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exit from a beautiful dinner with best friends, too many public toilet puking incidences to mention, and, oh, so much more.

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God, this would be a long episode if I listed out over 20 years worth of drinking regrets, but the thing I've come to recognize

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now is the reason I go back to rethink some of these incidences is because they are so far unaligned with who I want to be.

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No. Who I actually am. I love going out with my friends and having a fun evening, but I enjoy the simplicity of driving or

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walking, not booking a taxi. I love laughing at old stories and new jokes. I enjoy going to fun places and remembering it

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all the next day. I am so happy to always wake up hangover free. I proudly own this behaviour. This is me. This is who I am,

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who I always could have been bold enough to be, but I wasn't. We all have the right to change our minds over time. Indeed,

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what is the point of having a mind if not to change and grow? I used to behave how I did around alcohol because I was insecure

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and worried about what others would think of me. I used to use alcohol to relax, de stress and have fun because I thought

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it's what everyone did. Well, newsflash, they don't. I'm not proud of all of my past drinking behaviors, but I am pleased

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with how I behave around alcohol now. I'm not evangelical about a sober life because I very much believe in the mantra you

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do you and I'll do me, but I do believe that it's a good thing to let people know that if alcohol is no longer delivering

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what they thought it would or is taking more than it should, I can point out a more joyful way of being, leading to behaviors

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that feel more aligned to you and who you want to be. Own this behaviour. Thank you so much for listening to this episode.

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Please listen in again next time. You can sign up to my 5 day drink less experiment and find out about working with me one

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to 1 at drink less live better dot com. I'd love it if you could 5 star rate this podcast and leave me a review. All that

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chisel really helps, you know. Thank you, and PS, I believe in you.