31. What you say really matters - choose carefully!

-: 00:16

Hello, darling heart, and welcome to the drink less, live better podcast. This is the podcast that helps you to see that drinking

-: 00:25

less doesn't need to be stressful, lonely, or boring. I'm your host, Sarah Williamson, and I decided to have a year alcohol

-: 00:33

free as a little life experiment and haven't looked back. With my experience and training, I now help other women with their

-: 00:41

alcohol free or drink less adventures. I'm here to tell you that you can be truly joyful without alcohol in your life. Join

-: 00:54

me here each week to find out how. Today, I'd like to tell you a story about why what you say really matters. I'm never drinking

-: 01:03

again. Yeah. How'd that work out for you? Well, seeing as this is a one way conversation, I'm going to tell you how it worked

-: 01:13

out for me. And never drinking again was always uttered at low moments in my life, either right at the end of a drinking night

-: 01:25

out, just before a restless, sweaty sleep, or in any of the 24, 48, or 72 hours following an evening of too much alcohol.

-: 01:33

You see, even though I said it and sometimes meant it, I never truly believed it because once the dreadful hangover had passed

-: 01:43

and the self hatred settled down, I knew that I would drink again. I knew deep down that I'm never drinking again was a big

-: 01:52

fat lie. Sometimes I even said it in jest. The never again messages in a WhatsApp group were shared around as an almost badge

-: 02:00

of honour. Oh, how we laughed. We also joked that our feeling terrible was down to food poisoning or other hilarious excuses.

-: 02:09

I was never willing to say I'm never drinking again and mean it. Your words really matter when you are looking for a new reality

-: 02:17

for yourself. If you talk about how you cannot do something or how you hate something, you're going to be unlikely to make

-: 02:29

it a part of who you want to be. Here are some starter phrases to look out for. I can't, I wish, I want, I will, I have, I'm

-: 02:40

rubbish at, I'm trying to. I was known to say, I can't drink just 2 glasses of wine. I wish I didn't drink like an idiot.

-: 02:50

I will never succeed at this. I hate myself for this behaviour, and more delights besides. Stopping and reconsidering my language,

-: 03:01

both about myself and to myself, made such a massive difference. What do you think about these starter phrases? I can, I do,

-: 03:15

I am, I create, I'm good at, I'm so grateful for, and I choose? Almost any of the rubbish stories I was telling myself could

-: 03:24

be much more helpfully reframed with the use of these ideas. I can be alcohol free, and extra points for upgrading a phrase

-: 03:35

like that to I can be joyfully alcohol free. I know what's good for me. I create fabulous connections and relationships based

-: 03:43

on deep and meaningful conversations, not slippery dance floors. I'm good at noticing the benefits of an alcohol free life

-: 03:54

experiment. I'm so grateful for boldly making this choice. I choose relaxed and happy over anxious and hungover. Be intentional

-: 04:04

about the words and messages you receive about yourself. Have either an out loud response or if you cannot manage that then

-: 04:13

an internal one. Here's an example of mine. Oh, Sarah's always leaving her shoes in the back of a taxi. Gets the rebuke of

-: 04:22

not anymore. I'm the taxi driver. Sarah won't last longer than a week with this new alcohol free thing. Gets kicked into touch

-: 04:31

with the internal thought of screw you. Choose yourself a new sentence for the new you then say it out loud, write it down,

-: 04:44

believe in it, become it, dream it as you fall asleep at night. Mine was, I choose to be joyfully alcohol free. I didn't like

-: 04:54

words like quit, stop or give up, so this choice of words really suited me. When I'm trying to think of some good words, a

-: 05:03

turn of phrase or a label or title for something I'm often to be found scribbling the initial idea down and then turning to

-: 05:13

my online thesaurus to up level my words or find some alliteration that sounds or looks comfortable. I have sober is my superpower

-: 05:22

written on the notice board above my desk just as a little reminder of what I want to be, do, and share with the world. Well,

-: 05:32

my tiny corner of the world anyway. I believe sober is my superpower. I trust sober is my superpower. I know sober is my superpower.

-: 05:41

How about you? Thank you for listening to this episode. Please listen in again next time. You can sign up to my 5 day drink

-: 05:49

less experiment and find out about working with me one to 1 at drink less live better dot com. I'd love it if you could 5

-: 05:58

star rate this podcast and leave me a review. All that shizzle all really helps, you know. Thank you. And PS, I believe in you.