283. To be human

:: 00:05

Hello and welcome to this episode of The Drink Less, Live Better podcast. I'm your host, Sarah Williamson, and I'm really glad you're here today.

:: 00:15

I've been thinking about what it means to be human, and one of the things I think we sometimes estimate is how uncomfortable and difficult it can be to care for others. To look around and see something that feels wrong, unfair, cruel, or simply unnecessary, and to feel something about it. Maybe you see someone being treated badly. Maybe you notice an injustice that has become so normalized that people barely question it anymore. Perhaps you look at something happening in the world and think, "Surely, we can do better than this."

:: 00:56

And sometimes, of course, that feeling feels very personal. You might notice something in your own life that doesn't sit comfortably anymore: a relationship, a habit, the way you speak to yourself, a decision you've made, something you've tolerated for years because it seemed easier than actually changing it. There can be a particular discomfort in seeing something clearly, because once you've noticed something, you can't quite un-notice it. And I think that this is a part of being human too.

:: 01:32

We have ideals. We have ideas about fairness, kindness, freedom, equality, and dignity. We imagine what our families could be like, what our communities could be like, what society could be like. And then we encounter the gap between what is and what we believe could be. And that gap, that gap can hurt. And you could feel angry, sad, frustrated, grief-stricken, maybe powerless.

:: 02:06

We can see it in huge things: political decisions, economic inequality, racism, sexism, poverty, environmental damage, systems that work brilliantly for some people and terribly for others. And we can see it in tiny, ordinary moments too. Somebody being looked over in a meeting. A woman being told she is difficult when she speaks firmly. A child learning that their feelings are inconvenient. A person quietly struggling while everyone around them carries on with their day.

:: 02:44

We don't have to become permanently furious to care about these things. And I think there's something important about allowing ourselves to feel the discomfort without immediately trying to get rid of it or trying to get past it. That information can inform us. We can ask what is within our influence. We can make different choices. We can speak when speaking matters. We can listen when listening matters.

:: 03:14

And maybe we can make small changes ourselves. We can change something in our own lives while recognizing that some problems require collective action and structural change. And perhaps we can hold onto our ideals without demanding that the world becomes perfect before we allow ourselves to feel okay. Because maybe being human involves living in that tension. We're capable of imagining something better while living in a world that remains oh-so-imperfect.

:: 03:49

We can care deeply and still laugh. We can be disappointed by people and still love them. Oh yes, we can be disappointed by people and still love them. We can be frustrated with ourselves and still treat ourselves with compassion. We can want things to be different without spending every waking moment fighting reality.

:: 04:14

Perhaps being human means having the capacity to notice, to feel, to question, and to care. And then, where we can, to do something with what we have noticed, even if that something is small. Because the fact that something matters to you is information, and you can pay attention to it.

:: 04:36

If you'd like to explore Drinking Less, you can find my free 5-day Drink Less experiment, habit tracker, and join my email club at drinklesslivebetter.com. And P.S. I believe in you.