226. What if confidence didn't come in a glass?
because... it doesn't you know!
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Transcript
Hello and welcome back to the Drink Less Live Better podcast. I'm Sarah Williamson.
-:You can find out more about me on my website, follow me on Instagram, or read my book for all insights and wisdom.
-:Drink Less Live Better Related I have some coaching spots available at the moment.
-:Send me an email, send sarah@drinklesslivebetter.com and ask for my calendar link.
-:Book a slot and we can have a coffee and chat.
-:I'll tell you about how coaching with me might look and you can tell me anything you want to offload at this moment. Let's get on with the show.
-:What if Confidence Didn't Come from a Glass?
-:I want to gently challenge a belief that so many of us carry the idea that confidence, especially in social situations such
-:as somehow comes from a glass of wine or a cocktail.
-:Maybe you've heard it before, or maybe you tell yourself, I need some Dutch courage.
-:I need a drink to loosen up.
-:A glass helps me feel more sociable.
-:I'm more confident when I've had a little something. I'm so introverted.
-:Alcohol helps me to act more extroverted.
-:It's a story that's deeply ingrained in our culture and it's so common it almost feels natural.
-:But what if that story wasn't true?
-:What if confidence is not found in alcohol? Because it's not, you know. Newsflash.
-:I know alcohol's effects can feel like a shortcut to social ease.
-:It lowers inhibitions, quietens the self doubt, and may even make you feel bolder, funnier, or more relaxed.
-:At least in the moment it might do. And that confidence is actually borrowed.
-:It's chemical, temporary, and comes with a heavy price tag.
-:Foggy memories, regret or anxiety once that initial buzz fades.
-:And do we need to get onto the subject of hangovers as part of the cost? No, I thought not. We know about that.
-:Over 15 years of coaching people, I've seen how tapping into confidence can transform not only how people approach social
-:settings, but how they feel in their everyday lives.
-:Here are some tools and practices you can try instead of reaching for a drink. Number one Mindful breathing.
-:When nerves strike, take a few deep, intentional breaths. Breathe in slowly for 4 seconds.
-:Hold for 4, then breathe out for for 6. Repeat 3 times. It'll calm your nervous system.
-:Number 2 A body language check in Confidence isn't just a feeling, it's a physical practice.
-:Stand or sit with your shoulders back, chest open and chin slightly lifted.
-:This power posture can actually send signals to your brain that you're calm and capable. Number three.
-:Positive Self Talk Notice the inner voice that shows up in social moments. Is it supportive or critical?
-:Practice replacing I'm so awkward or everyone's judging me with words like I'm fine just as I am or I can bring some value
-:to this conversation or these people really like me. All of that will be true.
-:Number four Small Wins, Big Impact Build confidence in small doses by setting mini social goals.
-:Make eye contact with someone, smile at someone, share a genuine compliment, ask someone about their day and actually listen to the answer.
-:Each little success will rewire your brain to expect positive social interactions without needing any alcohol to grease the wheels. Number five Prepare and plan. Sometimes uncertainty fuels our social anxiety.
-:If you're heading to a party or event, prepare a few conversation starters or questions ahead of time.
-:Know which alcohol free drink you're going to order at the bar, and know that you are free to go home whenever you choose to. This matters.
-:Choosing confidence without alcohol isn't just about social ease.
-:As you build your confidence from within, you'll connect more deeply to others and enjoy social occasions in a whole new way.
-:Or you won't and you'll be going home, so it won't matter.
-:I encourage you to pick one of these techniques this week and try it out.
-:Notice what happens when you show up telling yourself that you are confident, no glass required.
-:And if you find your mind drifting back to the old story, gently remind yourself confidence doesn't come in a glass. Thank you for listening in today.
-:Check out the show notes for resources and ways to work with me one to one and P.S. i believe in you.
