53. Your reasons "why" revisited

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Hello, darling heart, and welcome to the drink less, live better podcast. This is the podcast that helps you to see that drinking

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less doesn't need to be stress full, lonely, or boring. I'm your host, Sarah Williamson, and I decided to have a year alcohol

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free as a little life experiment and haven't looked back. With my experience and training, I now help other women with their

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alcohol free or drink less adventures. You can find out more about me and sign up to my 5 day drink less challenge at drink

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less, live better.com. I'm here to tell you that you can relax, connect, and have fun without alcohol in your life. Join me

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here each week to find out how. Why revisit it? If you follow sober blogs, communities, groups or podcasts like this one,

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there's a really common school of thought piece of advice that's given out to people in early sobriety. Get clear on your

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reasons why you want this. You want to be sober or alcohol free, or drink less, or reduce harm, whatever the right phrase

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is for you, and why. When I first thought about what reasons I had for doing my year long alcohol free experiment, I listed

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my children, my work, and my productivity. Of course, I went on to mention my physical health and my emotional health, but

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they were not my initial thoughts back then. Nearly two and a half years in, I see things differently. I only really have

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one reason why I'm alcohol free, and it's because I want something better for myself. It's so simple now. I see it for what

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it is. I live better this way, and I want more of that. My children, family, and friends get the knock on benefits of a happier,

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more relaxed, calmer me, but that's a byproduct. In the early days of my sobriety, I don't think that I thought I deserved

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better than I already had. I'd been dealt a series of devastating personal blows throughout 2017 and 2000 and 18, and many

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people would have said my drinking was entirely understandable and justifiable. I didn't have any trust or faith in myself

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or the world around me at that time. I knew that if I carried on drinking the way I was, people would understand I was numbing

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and soothing myself, and no one would accuse me of being selfish because, you know, lots was out of my control at the time.

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I wanted something better, but I really didn't know if I could have better. I had had my hopes and dreams granted and then

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dashed. What if everything was further dashed? Would I just be laying myself open to further doom? So often are drinking as

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a reaction to trauma, stress, discomfort, or worse. It's a tool we pick up without giving it too much thought, and it's only

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when we go to stop we realize the impact it's having on us. So, if we choose to rethink the whole why thing and choose something

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along the lines of because I deserve better, what are the positive thoughts that follow on from that? Let's refer back to

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my 2019 list list of reasons why I'm not going to drink. We'll find this. I have set myself a challenge and I will succeed

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with it. I want to be a more patient parent. No more rushing the boys through bedtime because I want to get back downstairs

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to a drink. I want hangover free weekends to enjoy my time away from work. I want to maximize my nutritional choices. I want

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to sleep deeply and wake up feeling great. I want to know I'm giving myself the best chance at not getting high blood pressure,

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heart disease, liver disease, breast, mouth, throat, oesophagus, liver, or colon cancer, dementia, or weakening my immune

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system. I want to know that I'm fun without alcohol. I look back on that list now, and I still feel the same about some of

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it, but in choosing not to drink, I distill it into just one sentence, and that is, I deserve better. Coming to a place of

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courage to say that out loud has taken time and thought. I've come through the denial stage and learned to trust myself and

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my judgment more. Although I dislike the word journey in this context, it is just so fitting. I really have come so far, and

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I've got further to go, of course. I'd love to know where you stand on the whole why I'm choosing to be alcohol free question.

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Is it all about your kids, your wider family, your work? Are you bottom of the list or an afterthought again? Are you often

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last on your list, or was that just me? Come on. I see you and your ways. If you'd like to get in touch to chat through the

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whole why thing, please do. Send me a DM on the socials or sarah@drinklesslivebetter.com. Thank you for listening listening

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in again today. Let's do the same time and place next week, and PS, I believe in you.