262. You’re Allowed to Outgrow Things

:: 00:05

Hello and welcome to this episode of the Drink Less, Live Better podcast. I'm your host, Sarah Williamson, and I'm so glad you're here today. Okay, time for a truth bomb. You are allowed to outgrow things. Yes, it's true, you are. You're allowed to change, and just so you know, you're supposed to change. Not everything in your life is meant to come with you forever, and yet we often act as if it should.

:: 00:39

We stay loyal to habits that no longer serve us. We hold on to relationships that aren't quite right. We remain in environments that don't suit us, and we keep patterns like drinking alcohol, for example, that once made sense but don't quite work out for us anymore. Here is a question we might ask ourselves: If it used to work, shouldn't I stick with it? Well, let's have a think for a moment. Maybe it did work then, but we've lost sight of whether it's doing harm or good right now.

:: 01:19

Outgrowing something doesn't mean it was wrong; it just means that we're different now. There are things in your life that genuinely served you once: habits that helped you cope, relationships that supported you, environments that felt secure, and even alcohol may have had a role. It might have helped you relax, connect, or switch off. However, what once felt comfortable can start to feel uncomfortable. What once felt exciting can start to feel draining. What once felt like relief can start to feel like something you have to recover from. You'll have heard me say this many times before: I am not in the market for building a life I need to recover from.

:: 02:10

Okay, let's talk about alcohol specifically, because this is where I see it coming up so often. There was likely a time when drinking felt aligned with your life. It may have helped you socialise, unwind, or helped you to feel a sense of belonging. But if you're here listening to this podcast, there's a good chance something has shifted for you. Maybe it doesn't feel as good as it used to. Maybe the downsides are louder than before. Maybe it's taking more than it's giving. And yet, a part of you might still be holding on, not because it's working now, but because it used to.

:: 02:53

And this is where permission becomes so important. You are allowed to outgrow alcohol, and you are allowed to admit that to yourself and others if you choose to. Your needs, your values, and your priorities have changed. The same is true for habits. There are routines you once relied on that might not support the version of you you're becoming now. Maybe it's how you spend your evenings. Maybe it's how you manage stress. Maybe it's the way you talk to yourself. Outgrowing these habits doesn't mean you lacked discipline before. It means you're ready for something different.

:: 03:34

And then there are relationships. This can be one of the hardest areas to navigate, because outgrowing a relationship doesn't always mean something dramatic has happened. Sometimes it's a lot more subtle than that. Ask me how I know. You might feel less connected. You might notice a mismatch in values. You might feel like you can't fully be yourself. Oh, yes, have I ever been there? If you ever privately want to talk about friendship shifts with me, please feel free. You don't need a dramatic reason to acknowledge that something no longer fits. You're allowed to change, and your relationships are allowed to change too.

:: 04:17

The same goes for environments, places, routines, social circles. These all shape how we feel and how we show up in the world. If an environment leaves you feeling drained, stuck, or disconnected, it's worth noticing that. For the record, outgrowing doesn't have to mean rejecting or judging what came before. You don't have to look back and say, "Oh my God, that was bad," or, "I shouldn't have done that." Instead, you can say, "Okay, well, that served me then, and this is where I am now." There's a quiet kind of self-respect in that, a willingness to honour your past without letting it dictate your future.

:: 05:02

And yes, obviously, there can be discomfort in this process. Letting go, whether it's a habit, a relationship, or alcohol, can feel uncertain. There are going to be questions, doubts, even a sense of loss or grief, perhaps. And that's normal. But please know that when your choices start to reflect who you are now and who you are becoming next, not who you were before, life does begin to feel a bit different. Maybe lighter, clearer, more intentional.

:: 05:41

If you're in a place where something in your life feels off, where you're questioning whether something still fits, instead of asking, "What's wrong with me?" maybe try asking, "Have I simply outgrown this? Can I put it down?" And if the answer is yes, see what happens when you give yourself the chance to evolve. Because you're not meant to stay the same. You're meant to grow, to shift, to expand. And you're allowed to leave things behind, not with regret, but perhaps with gratitude. Other people don't have to understand it, but it's really important that you do.

:: 06:26

You can find me on Instagram at drinklesslivebetter and online at drinklesslivebetter.com, where you'll find lots of supportive resources. Check today's podcast show notes for a link to a hidden episode, and that will help with your 5:00 PM cravings and details about my one-to-one life coaching and sober coaching programmes. And PS, I believe in you.