171. Are you being heard?

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Hello, darling heart, and welcome to this episode of the drink less, live better podcast.

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This is the podcast that helps you to see that drinking less doesn't need to be stressful, lonely, or boring.

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I'm your host, Sarah Williamson, and I decided to have a year alcohol free as a little life experiment and haven't looked back.

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I'm a best selling author, expert speaker and life coach.

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I'm here to support you with your alcohol free or drink less adventures.

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Give me a follow on Instagram at drink less, live better, and head to the website drink less, live better.com, where you will

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be able to sign up to the 5 day drink less experiment, find blog posts, and you can choose to join the email club, where I

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share resources, wisdom, insights and glimmers of hope and joy.

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I hope you enjoy the episode today. Let's get straight to it. I'm listening. Are you ready?

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We might be able to say people listen to us unless perhaps we are an infant school teacher and then we know nobody listens to us. I'm joking obviously.

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People listen to what we say but do they really hear us?

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Have you ever wondered why it feels so good when someone really tunes in to what we're saying?

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Let's explore 3 juicy reasons why being listened to really hits the spot for us. Number 1. It's like a brain massage.

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When somebody gives us their undivided attention, it's as if they are really reaching into our minds and giving our neurons a soothing rub.

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You see, we're human and we are social creatures.

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We're wired to connect, to share, to be understood.

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When someone listens to us deeply it really satisfies our primal need for connection.

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It's as if we're getting a scratch itched that we didn't even know we had. We feel seen, acknowledged and validated.

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Your thoughts really matter, your feelings really matter, you matter, and somebody listening to us really shows us this.

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The feeling of being heard can be powerful.

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It really reduces our stress and anxiety.

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It's a bit like having a pressure valve released.

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All those thoughts and feelings that have been swirling around in our heads finally have somewhere to go.

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They're out in the open, acknowledged and somehow they then feel less overwhelming.

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It's no wonder we often feel good after saying all of the stuff out loud.

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It's as if we've had a mental declutter.

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I like to think of our thoughts a bit like a big knot of wool, and talking and being heard allows us to gently wind the wall back into a lovely neat shape.

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Number 2, It helps us to focus on ourselves.

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How often are we focusing everywhere but on ourselves? Let's be honest.

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When somebody actually really listens to us, we sometimes go a bit overboard with it.

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We've been given the green light to let loose and suddenly everything that we've been holding back we let rip with.

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All the things we might never say because perhaps it feels self indulgent.

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There's something very liberating about being able to express ourselves freely without the fear of judgement or interruption.

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We get to explore our thoughts out loud, follow tangents and discover new insights about ourselves in the process.

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The freedom to express ourselves can lead to some pretty amazing revelations.

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As we talk we might stumble upon solutions to problems we've been grappling with or gain new perspectives on situations that

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have been troubling us for some time.

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It's a bit like having a thought who helps us sort through the jumble in our minds and arrange things neatly on display.

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Perhaps we also get to put some thoughts back in boxes for now. I certainly know that's my way.

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Let's not forget the joy of hearing our own voice spoken out loud.

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When someone is truly listening to us, we do feel encouraged to keep talking.

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It gets easier to say the tricky stuff out loud the more we get to recognize someone has capacity to hear all of the things we've got to say. Number 3.

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It supports us to process the bits we couldn't do alone.

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The person who's lending us their ears becomes the keeper of our secrets, the witness to our experiences, and the valor data to our feelings.

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They're like a human diary, but better because they allow us to share our experiences and nod along.

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The listener becomes a place for us to be vulnerable.

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We can share our fears, our doubts, our wildest dreams without worrying about being judged.

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Who's able to listen to you right now?

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Do they have the capacity to really hear you?

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How might it feel for you to be able to say out loud some of the thoughts in your head?

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You know where I am for coaching.

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Find the details on my website at drink less live better.com. It's not all coaching about alcohol.

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It's also coaching and listening about life.

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Thank you so much for listening in today. Come back again next week.

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If you fancy rating and reviewing the podcast, that would be amazing.

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Thank you and, p s, I believe in you.