203. Conflicting thoughts

-: 00:10

Hello darling heart and welcome to this episode of the Drink Less, Live Better podcast.

-: 00:17

This is the podcast that helps you to see that drinking less doesn't need to be stressful, lonely, or boring.

-: 00:25

I have just recorded this podcast without my microphone plugged in, and so this is attempt number two.

-: 00:33

I'm your host, Sarah Williamson, and I decided to have a year alcohol free as a little life experiment and haven't looked back.

-: 00:37

I'm here to support you with your alcohol free or drink less adventures.

-: 00:46

You can follow me on Instagram at drink less live better and find my resources on the website, drinklesslivebetter.com.

-: 00:54

I hope you enjoy this podcast episode. Let's get straight to it. Conflicting thoughts and actions.

-: 01:02

Have you ever had one of those moments when your internal voice seems to be playing both sides of the fence, wanting it both

-: 01:05

ways and pulling in two different directions?

-: 01:15

I sometimes find myself in a thought loop going backwards and forwards. Sarah, you need to slow down. Sarah, speed up.

-: 01:21

Get this done more quickly because you need to go slower and take your time, but hurry up about it.

-: 01:28

Take fast action so that then you can slow down. Oh, the irony.

-: 01:35

And I also get into, let's start something new. Let's finish this first.

-: 01:41

I should really get this done before I begin something new, but that new thing over there looks so exciting.

-: 01:43

And if I finish this, then I can start that.

-: 01:46

Perhaps I'll start that before I finish this.

-: 01:50

I mean, really, what is going on there?

-: 02:01

And, also, I want to be really still and silent, calm and peaceful so I can really hear what I want.

-: 02:10

And I also want to do some weight training, walk the dog for miles and miles, and enjoy driving my boys around and doing the

-: 02:13

things that they want to do too.

-: 02:18

Two completely opposing things at the same time.

-: 02:27

When I was a kid, there were often comic strips or cartoons where someone had an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other.

-: 02:35

I think about that now and recognize that we were supposed to think that one of them was wrong, but now I accept that both

-: 02:39

the angel and the devil, the opposites, may be right.

-: 02:47

Have you ever been going to a party or a social gathering where one part of you is saying, this will be fun. Put yourself out there.

-: 02:50

Everyone else enjoys this stuff so much.

-: 02:55

It's gonna be great, whilst another party's whispering, why don't we stay at home?

-: 02:58

Don't risk being out or not having fun.

-: 03:06

Perhaps these people already have their friendship group and they don't need me there.' This conflict is particularly fascinating

-: 03:10

because both voices come from a place of self preservation.

-: 03:24

The outgoing voice wants us to grow, make new friends, and seize opportunities, and the cautious voice aims to protect us from potential rejection or social missteps. Neither is wrong.

-: 03:29

They're both trying to help us navigate our worlds in a way that is comfortable and safe.

-: 03:32

Let's picture ourselves working on a project.

-: 03:44

One voice is urging us to take your time, be thorough, double check everything, while the other voice reminds us, time is running out. Pick up the pace. Don't get bogged down in details.

-: 03:46

You've left this until the last minute.

-: 03:52

This mental contradiction is especially tricky because both approaches have merit.

-: 04:01

Quality work often requires attention to detail and careful consideration, but we also live in a world of deadlines and competing priorities.

-: 04:09

And for me, I enjoy giving myself plenty of thinking time and then really going for it towards the deadline.

-: 04:22

It is not unheard of for me to be editing a podcast episode at 08:30AM on a Thursday morning when it lands in your podcast downloads every Thursday at 9AM.

-: 04:35

Finding the balance between these opposing forces requires constant awareness, adjustment and action. Emotions. One of my favourite subjects.

-: 04:45

One part of our mind is conscious that we might have been told, feel your feelings, let it all out, it's healthy to acknowledge your emotions.

-: 04:52

Meanwhile, there's stay strong, keep it together, don't let emotions get the better of you.

-: 05:02

I mean, I'm all for processing our emotions, but when you look at it like this, it's easy to see why it isn't a straight road through.

-: 05:13

We're increasingly aware of the importance of emotional intelligence and processing what's going on for us, yet we also value resilience and emotional stability.

-: 05:22

Both voices speak to important aspects of our mental health, the need to acknowledge and process our emotions and the need

-: 05:29

to function effectively in our everyday lives. Conflicting thoughts then. What next?

-: 05:35

Let's recognize that internal contradictions are completely normal.

-: 05:38

They're not a sign of confusion or weakness.

-: 05:44

They're evidence of our mind's ability to consider multiple perspectives and viewpoints simultaneously.

-: 05:52

Instead of trying to silence one voice in favour of the other, we can learn to acknowledge both perspectives.

-: 06:00

Maybe the answer isn't choosing between being social or cautious, but finding ways to be both.

-: 06:09

Perhaps we can be thorough while still maintaining momentum or process our emotions while staying fully functional.

-: 06:14

Can we use our conflicting thoughts as opportunities for self reflection?

-: 06:22

When we find ourselves pulled in opposite directions, it's often a sign that we're dealing with something important, something

-: 06:25

worth taking the time to understand and navigate thoughtfully.

-: 06:30

Can you pay attention to your own conflicting thoughts this week?

-: 06:34

What opposing messages do you hear from your internal voice?

-: 06:38

And how do you navigate these mental tugs of war?

-: 06:48

Take note, the goal isn't to eliminate these conflicts, but to be aware of them, to understand them, and to use them as tools

-: 06:54

for becoming the next version of you. Thank you for listening in today. Come back again next week.

-: 07:03

Check out the show notes for a link to a hidden podcast episode that will help you with your 5PM cravings and details about

-: 07:10

my one to one life coaching and sober coaching programs. And, PS, I believe in you.