230. How you feel NOT how you look

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Hello and welcome back to the Drink Less Live Better podcast. I'm Sarah Williamson.

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You can follow me on Instagram, check out my website, or read my book Drink Less Live Better for insights, wisdom and resources.

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I have life coaching spots open at the moment.

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Send me an email and tell me if you're interested.

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Ok, let's get on with today's episode.

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It's about how you feel and not how you look My social media feed has been filled with quite a bit of before and after photo

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comparisons recently, and that's because I'm following more people who inspire the wellness I'm interested in at the moment.

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Here is me at the start, here is, Here is me three months in, here is me six months in, etc.

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With the comparison photos side by side. And I kind of understand it. I do.

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Maybe the work has been hard and you want to mark the physical changes for yourself.

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Maybe you need those comparisons with past you to motivate current you.

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Maybe you've got a solid goal you're working towards that you will see in actual photographs and I wish you love and luck

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if it's supporting you in your achievements.

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But it makes me feel a bit uneasy.

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I admit I unfollow people who photobomb the before and after shots, and I unfollow quicker than a whippet if they're sharing their clients before and after shots.

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As I say this, I actually wonder out loud what an after photo.

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Anyway, come to that, what is a before photo?

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A before photo could be the day I decided to take on this new regime.

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And I guess after is actually now. It's never really after.

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After will be the day we die, won't it?

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I don't mean to be anything less than cheerful, but that is the day that everything is done, finished. We are completed. Am I being unreasonable? Maybe. Maybe I am.

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The after will always be when we are still a work in progress. Because aren't we always?

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Anyway, for me it's about how you feel, not how you look and why comparisons, whether to others or to your past self, often

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end up doing more harm than than good.

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I've got something simple but important for you here.

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We live in a world that visually measures everything.

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Social media, advertising, fitness, culture, even wellness influencers.

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All of them tend to put looks first.

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And I'm not saying there's anything wrong with wanting to look good.

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But feeling good and looking good, they are not always the same thing.

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You can look amazing on the outside and still feel like a mess on the inside, or you can look just okay by society's standards.

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But feel confident, strong, at peace with yourself and that is what really matters.

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Let me tell you a quick story.

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A friend of mine, we'll call her Sarah, was in what she called the best shape of her life about seven years ago.

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She was running, doing yoga, eating well, apart from the odd kettle chip, bit of habit, taking the vitamins, drinking the

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green smoothie, achieving all of the total life goals.

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She might have looked the best she ever had, but in fact never felt worse.

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She was exhausted for a variety of reasons, both physical and emotional and drinking more alcohol than was good for her to deal with the emotional overwh.

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So yeah, looked good, felt completely rubbish.

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Another friend of mine, we're going to call her Sarah as well.

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In 2023, she had maintained a really balanced and feel good movement routine for an extended period of time, had stopped drinking

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alcohol ages ago and had got a handle on all the overwhelm in her life.

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Looked pretty good in a photo and yet had just had a really scary diagnosis and was about to embark on a treatment regime including multiple surgeries and radiotherapy.

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Yeah, the photos after that, not so pretty, felt good enough, looked pretty rubbish. Oh, hi, yeah, I'm the Sarah. I'm both of those Sarahs. Yeah, that's me. And you know what?

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I can take a photo at any moment in my life and in some of them I'll look pretty good and in some of them I won't. You know, lighting angles. Have I actually brushed my hair? Probably not.

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Here we are then, is the ultimate indicator of success or health or happiness?

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A pair of before and after photos?

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Let me make this simple for you. No.

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The way you feel in your body, your mind, your soul, that's the barometer.

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That's the part that no mirror or scale or social media post can measure. And now let's talk about comparisons.

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Because they sneak in everywhere, those slippery little suckers.

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We compare our bodies to others, we compare our progress to others.

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We compare who we are now to who we were five years ago, forgetting what was really going on for us back then. Comparison is a liar. It gives you incomplete data.

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It shows you the photo but not the fatigue, the smile, but not the struggle, the transformation, but not the true cost of it.

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And when we compare ourselves to others, or even to a former version of ourselves, we ignore everything else that's changed.

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Our values, our priorities, our time, our, our mental health.

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Instead of comparing, can you try checking in?

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Ask yourself, how do I feel in my body today?

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Am I moving in a way that brings me joy or just checking a box? Am I eating to nourish myself? Am I resting enough?

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These questions will get you in touch with your real experience, not someone else's filtered one. And let me say this clearly.

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You don't owe the world a certain look.

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You don't owe your past self a repeat performance.

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Growth does not mean a six pack or a glow up.

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Sometimes it means slowing down, saying no, Choosing peace over progress.

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One of the most radical things you can do in a world obsessed with appearance is to focus on how you feel, to listen to your

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body, to honour your limits and and to live in alignment with who you really are.

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If you're someone who's been stuck in a loop of I used to look better or why don't I look like them, then let me tell you this. That loop needs nowhere.

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Your value is not in your image, your wellness. It's measured by your energy. Okay, have you got this?

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Or do you need to go back and listen again?

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Save this episode and replay as often as you need to hear these words.

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It's about how you feel, not how you look.

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Oh, and if you'd like support with your feelings, book a slot in my online calendar.

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My work with my coaching clients so often is about the emotional overload, identifying the feelings and moving forward gently.

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We can have a coffee over Zoom.

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And if you want to work with me, I'd be delighted to be your guide on the side. One little caveat, I should say.

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I have in the past put before and after shots of me drinking and not drinking.

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And I suppose I do that just as a little marker in the sand for myself.

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And I'm okay with what I've done in the past, what I've posted on social media in the past, I a new version of me.

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Now, of course, I'm a work in progress too. Thank you for listening in today.

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Check out the show notes for resources and ways to work with me.

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Oh, and P.S. i believe in you.