47. Things you'll never hear me say (Part 2) "You've got this"

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Hello, darling heart, and welcome to the drink less, live better podcast. This is the podcast that helps you to see that drinking

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less doesn't need to be stressful, lonely, or boring. I'm your host, Sarah Williamson, and I decided to have a year alcohol

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free as a little life experiment and haven't looked back. With my experience in training, I now help other women with their

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alcohol free or drink less adventures. You can find out more about me and sign up to my 5 day drink less challenge at drink

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less live better dotcom. I'm here to tell you that you can relax, connect, and have fun without alcohol in your life. Join

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me here each week to find out how. As part of my You'll Never Hear Me Say This series, part 2, you got this. I love a cliche

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as much as the next person. Of course I do, and I recognize that cliches are usually cliches for a good reason. However, I

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have got a bunch of them earmarked that you'll never hear me say, and today's example is you've got this. Now, if I had to

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use the phrase, it would be where I was cheering on the sidelines of a marathon race about 10 meters from the finish line,

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and I could see the runner was moving in the right direction in a forward motion, I might, at that moment, yell, you've got

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this. But to be perfectly honest, I'm British, and I'm more likely to politely clap, have a wave a flag, and say, should we

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go for a nice cup of tea after this? Standing up is tiring. I see the words, you've got this, typed as a response to many

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a Facebook post. In groups and communities where people are moving towards an alcohol free way living, it's typed out as an

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encouragement, a cheer, and a way to show some level of support, but I find it really difficult to see. When a stranger online

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writes a comment about how alcohol is impacting them and how they want to change, we often have no context around that. This

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type of post might be 3 lines long or a couple of paragraphs. It could give a little bit of context or none at all. We likely

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have no idea what is going on for someone when they share a small bit of their alcohol free struggle. To type a response of

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you've got this could do more harm than good. It might unintentionally minimise someone's feelings or even deny their feelings.

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It could be dismissive of what they have just shared, and, of course, we can never know ourselves whether someone has got

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this or not. They could be very far from getting it at that moment. Next time you see a comment in a Facebook post, try to

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consider whether someone actually wants some sympathy or some solutions. Do they explicitly ask for what they want or need?

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The hey. If they've said they need cheering on, then you've got this might be an entirely appropriate response. Other approaches

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you could consider are asking someone how you could help, reassuring them that you care, offering to help them find sources,

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expressing sympathy, or showing some level of understanding. I know I found it frustrating in the past when people have told

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me I've got this when I've been unsure of my own capabilities, which is the main reason I'm cautious now. If, on the other

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hand, you're coming to cheer me on next time I'm about to go for a run, do feel free to shout, cheer, and you've got this

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at me right near the finish line. Oh, and do please follow that up with a nice cup of tea. Thank you for listening this week

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and, p s, I believe in you.